Hello Debs1311, 

You've certainly been through an awful lot in the last few months and it's completely understandable given everything you've been through that it's affecting your daily life and making you feel a bit down. It's not easy to have to cope with lymphoedema and having to deal with the weakness/ numbness in your thigh which is making you have to use a stick and I can imagine it is also a worrying time for you knowing that you will need a temporary stoma fitting due to this leak in your bowel. All this is already so much to have to bear without having to also go through the trauma of relocating 5 miles away from your friends. Your daughter is no doubt very grateful that you are there to collect the 3 grandchildren from school and I am glad you had her support after your cancer operation. You mentioned that you had to move 5 miles away from your friends - would you perhaps have a friend or someone not living too far away who maybe drives and would be willing to stay with you for a few days after your operation or who would come and visit to make sure you are ok? It might be worth also getting in touch with Maggie's and seeing whether they have a centre near you where you can get support. Talk to your GP too about support groups that might be available near where you live so that you don't feel isolated even if your friends and family are not as close by as before. 

You mentioned you are struggling with depression and I thought I would share with you our information on depression and cancer as well as our general section on depression and you have probably talked to a doctor about it but if you haven't or if you feel things have got worse recently, get in touch with your GP so that they can help you find the most suitable treatment. Your doctor will also have good suggestions for you to help you lose that weight - it's hard to have to focus on that too with everything that is going on at the moment and all the struggles you are facing but again having a good conversation with your doctor about all these issues, the depression, the weight and the support groups in your area will be a step in the right direction I think.

It might be worth also talking things through with our cancer nurses if you would like to get their insight into your situation and they may have some good advice or suggestions for you. Their helpline is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm and you can call them on this free number 0808 800 4040. 

I hope that things will get better for you and that you feel better both physically and psychologically. 

Best wishes and best of luck for your bowel surgery -  I hope that the appointment with the surgeon in January is helpful and that it will all go smoothly for you and that you make a fast recovery from it.

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator