I am sorry to hear what you have been going through. I can't give any advice as I am only just starting on my journey. I wish you well and if you need a natter just message x

I  am sorry to hear you are struggling Helen and I do  understand how you are feeling. It's very hard to stay positive when faced with uncertainty. Do you have a assigned Mcmillan Nurse?  Mine has been so helpful but the waiting, is the worst. I had stage 3 Bowel cancer and  chemo last year. At my six month review the Cat scan showed something suspect on my lung. My Mcmillan Nurse was very honest with me about what this could mean and of  course I convinced myself that I had secondary cancer.  I knew I would have a bit of a wait even though  it was urgent but eventually I got my Pet scan and it showed no mestasis, just some scarring possibly from the chemo. Im going to have 3 monthly scans and I know each time I'll wind myself up

. I found distracting myself did help. Being able to switch the worries off for a couple of hours  with a good movie or a book or a non health related chat with friends. (Avoid those friends who like to tell negative stories about what happened to their next door neighbour or their second  cousin. It's amazed me that the minute you say you have cancer, people love  to tell you these horror stories or even less helpful, tell you not to worry, you'll be fine) 

My cupboards and drawers have never been so tidy and I've done lots of comfort eating (not so good). Breathing and relaxation exercises from doing yoga also help.

My GP prescribed Zopiclone for sleep and while I didn't t use them all the time, they do give you a good night's sleep when youre desperate for one. 

My one big tip would be stay off Dr Google and get your advice and info from your nurse. 

Wishing you the best with it all,  whatever the outcome and  thank goodness for our NHS to get us through x