Hello Maudy, good for you that you are not giving up!  I have stage 4 breast cancer that has spread to my lungs and lymphatic system.  Basically I am terminal, but I try to stay up-beat, although I must admit that I get my 'dark days'.  The hardest thing is the loss of my independence.  I am now too weak to leave the house, and sometimes I could scream with boredom.  How I would LOVE to take a trip to the coast or even a walk in the local park.  But, I know that where there is life there is hope, and we can always dream of a miracle can't we?  Good luck on your journey, I wish you all the best, xx