Vulva melanoma

I am a 79 year old lady and last July I was diagnosed with this cancer, I had about two weeks of very frightening scans tests and a biopsy,. At the end of it I was told I had Vulva Melanoma and was booked in for surgery, the whole thing terrified me as they talked about what was going to happen and it seemed as if I was on a roller coaster with no way off. As I say I am a 79 year old widow having lost my husband to cancer seven years ago and I have no family who cares about me, I decided then that I would have no treatment  and then everyone dropped away from me, I am living my life the best that I can but sometimes I think about what is coming for me and I have no idea who to turn to for help. Has anyone on this forum chosen this path please.

  • I'm sorry you haven't had a reply to your post just yet hi102, but now that I've replied, our members will get to see your post once more and hopefully those who decided not to have treatment will be along soon to share their experiences and advice.

    I'm not sure if you have come across the cancer charity Maggie's before, but they offer free expert care and advice to anyone who is living with cancer and if there is a local Maggie's centre close to you, you can even go along and have a chat with others who are on this journey.

    You're also very welcome to discuss this further with one of our cancer nurses on 0808 800 4040. Their phone lines are open Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m and they'll do all they can to help.

    I know this must be very tough but I hope you can take some strength, and solace, from knowing that you are not alone and that our community will always be here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi 102, I’m not in your position but just wanted to stop by and say I think you’re incredibly brave and give you a cyber hug for what must be a really difficult time for you … when my Dad had kidney & bowel cancer we decided to stop treatment we still had access to McMillan nurses but mostly we were under his GP who was wonderful & very supportive, the district nurse & the go kept a close eye on him and he eventually went into the Hospice just 3 days before he passed…with Mum towards the end we had Marie Currie nurse and they were wonderful to again the go was great … im hoping that your gp service will be just as good contact them, ask for referrals to MacMillian nurses if your not already, & ask about referrals to the hospice nurse, there is help & support out there so don’t be afraid to ask .. I do hope you find what you need to get you through this difficult journey x

  • Thank you Scrumyg but I am not brave just scared to death, I had no-one to accompany me to appointments so no support I do not drive so it would have made it very difficult to get to the hospital thirty miles away. When I was first diagnosed I was given a Macmillan nurse at the hospital but when I refused surgery and treatment she dropped away and I did not hear from her again. I did ask my GP what was going to happen to me and she replied that I would rot away and smell. Not heard from my doctors surgery again. I am living the rest of my life the best I can and it is my little dog that keeps me fighting.

  • Dear god I was horrified what your Gp said! I can’t comprehend that someone would say such a thing to you… my first instinct is to put in a complaint to the practice manager but I also know how stressful that can be… but try! No one should be spoken to like that..it’s also easier than most people think to change gp’s if you know of one that is better… if you have a community chat of your local area ..most places have one now, just ask in there about both sympathetic gps and cancer support services..you can do it anonymously , I am glad you at least have a companion in your dog, they are the most wonderful things to have around..I have a little black Patterdale love her to bits… gentle hugs xxx

  • To be fair it wasnt my actual doctor that said that to me, my practise has about 30 doctors all working out of the same building and when you make an appointment you take pot luck. I chose to have a woman doctor because of where the lump was and she had little sympathy, just wanted to take photographs because its a rare cancer. I am not going to complain because I have too much to deal with and cannot stand the hassle it would bring. I have a rescue Labradoodle and she is the reason I get up every morning, it does worry me what will happen to her when my time comes but I have booked her into the dogs trust and they say they will take her and find her a new home. Take care and thankyou for reaching out. xxx