Hello OllyDolly

I'm so very sorry to hear about all that you've been through and the struggles that you've had not only in getting a diagnosis but with your treatment as well. It sounds like it's been an incredibly difficult time and I'm not surprised that you feel angry. 

I don't know if you've sought any counselling support to help you begin to process all that you've been through. If there is an organisation such as Maggie's local to you then you might want to consider getting in touch with them. If you have access to a clinical nurse specialist, or you're still seeing the specialist, then you can speak to them about support as often there will be a specialist cancer psychologist that they can refer you to for support. They will also know what services are available in your local area. 

If you think it may help to talk things through with one of our nurses you are of course welcome to call them OllyDolly. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040 and I'm sure they will be happy to listen and offer any advice, information, and support they can. 

I do hope that things begin to improve for you soon. It's clearly been a very difficult time on many fronts. Keep in touch here on the forum if it helps to have a safe space to put down in writing how you're feeling. We'll do our best to support you. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Was same kept saying my pain was caused ny something else then said colic bowel even when bleeding was sent home from hospital several times no tests.  Until i wouldn't leave hospital.next day did a half colonoscapy and diagnosed within hours .

That’s awful what signs did you have ?

Pain in my left side that left me screaming , loosing weight , and blood in stools which got significantly worse .

I had loose stools for a year anything at all i was eating was just running through me. And they still put it aĺ down to my diabetic tablets .. some diabetic tablets eh when the tumour had grown to the size of a very large orange they said. I kept telling them as well that i felt as if my inside was going to fall out but did they listen NO!!! Hence why it ended up nearly stage 4..

I had same problems, went to hospital over 2 years ago and to doctors several times but no scans or investigations. Six months ago the decided to take it seriously and have stage 4 cancer spread to ver, given 6-12months to live. Like you so angry at length of time it took for them to take things seriously, could have been a different outcome altogether if looked into from the start. 

I am really sorry to hear your out come. Its just not fair at all.I told the one GP that really did help me and started the ball rolling he was just a new Dr on the practice i cant thank him enough. But i did tell him i wasnt going to let this go .. was at the consultant on Monday again they need to go back in and look at so lymph nodes she also stated oh the pocket of fluid is still there .as my sister came with me they wont give me a straight answer to what this pocket of fluid is now thats been there since after the operation..also stating she cant even think aboit a reversal op for another 6 mth as i need to be mentally and physically ready for it.and because of how ill i was and have healed the way or as quick as i should have.. im not mentally ready .. i just smirked i said i havent even accepted the bowel cancer!!.My way is putting a brick wall up and it hasnt happened to me ... physically i feel it.. no energy tired all the time the radio has totally gubbed my pelvic and hip bones..never experienced pain like this in my life i dread going to bed.. Some times i wish i didnt even bother going to the drs.than suffering all this pain

Sad that your having to go through all this it seems like things never end. Like you it's hard to get head round diagnosis and although the nurses and people who work in the cancer centre I go to can't be faulted I don't think there's enough done about a person's mental wellbeing. I like many live alone and sometimes just to be able to speak to someone and try and make sense of what's happening would help. Yes I have sisters, a son and my mam but sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger and a professional who can at least give you some answers. I'm sure there must be a few on here that feel the same. 

They sent me to mcmillans ppl to talk to but i dont know i just couldnt seem to open up about my cancer i was bawling my eyes out about my dad who passed away 24 yrs ago.she said you havent processed your grief for your dad . You  have delt with his death the way you are dealing with the cancer ,, you have thrown a wall up and havent let your self grieve over your dad. You are going to be a hard nut to crack karen to get talking..i said i am to angry with GPs. I feel ive heard what they said , i will just do what they say but i know i dont have cancer they have got it wrong, i feel as if i am watching it happen to some one else.. and i know that sounds daft, but am saying its not in my family history. I work my *** off for NHS..Do all my own shifts them go in and cover a load of extra shifts.. Theres no way ive got cancer... THEN BOOM!!! NHS is payin me off on grounds of being off to long and unfit for work ..Your only a NUMBER!!