This is the surgery I have ahead of me and to say I am terrified is an understatement. While the dynamics of having my complete rectum, anus & sigmoid colon removed is not actually what is worrying me, it’s the thought of my body potentially not being strong enough to get through the surgery that is playing on my mind.

Like any parent, I have always been the grounding foundation & guiding light of my autistic children’s lives & the harsh reality of this surgery has certainly put pressure on how I prepare my family for the unknown. When I think of the years we have put in on preparation for every possible challenge in terms of minimising stress and reassuring about uncertainty, however this particular situation is on a level of its own due to the risks and it’s tormenting me that I can’t reassure our three musketeers that I will be ok.

While there can be no guarantees on the medical front or any avenues of kindness anyone can offer to reduce my worry, I know in my own mind that I must do what I always do and that is to put my emotions into perspective & focus on the positive of any situation(however small that glimmer might be) because it’s that inner hope and determination is what will help us to push forward.

The ultimate goal to continue proudly watching/guiding our family to keep growing & developing into the independent young man & women they are becoming each & every day. 

I am standing up to Cancer, onwards & upwards!