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“Last” chemo feelings

clars
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Hello everyone who has finished chemo!

It’s my last chemo in a few weeks. I know I should be happy after five months of it but I’m having a hard time thinking/believing it’s the “end” of this particular treatment (my surgery is in July) - I feel I have a bullseye on my back, it’s going to get me again (various “bad” features of my breast cancer make me believe that: positive lymph nodes, grade 3, high ki-67, young age, blah blah blah), that I’ll be back on a chemo ward at some point.

How did you feel? Did you BELIEVE you wouldn’t ever have chemotherapy again? Did you celebrate? Any thoughts appreciated x

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    Got to add that my therapist says that maybe “acknowledging” rather than “celebrating” might be more appropriate. Hmmm

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    I celebrated after 7 rounds of Chemo and some really grotty side effects. I was supposed to have 8 treatments but was too ill for the last. Strangely, I was really pleased.

    Now on my 7th lot of immunotherapy which is much kinder. And more than 2 years of trying to beat the thing.

    You don't say if you've had horrible side effects that make you feel really ill.  If so, it has to be a reason to celebrate stopping those. 

    My "advice" is to take each stage as a positive step to getting better. Just small targets, small steps. My doctor also prescribed some anti depressants which seem to have helped. 

    Good luck and best wishes with everything you are going through. 

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    Hi Clars, I’ve just had round 7 with one more to go. My surgery will be end of august I think. I’ve been so looking forward to chemo being over but now the reality of the life I’ve been left with is starting to hit. I know what you mean by wondering if the cancer will be back at some point. 

    I can’t really offer any advice but wanted to drop a message since our treatment is at a similar stage x

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    As someone mentioned below, take every stage as it comes and have a little something good planned before the next stages.

    I was pleased when my chemo ended after being diagnosed will (ALL) Leukemia about 2 years ago and have been positive it was just an illness to get through and glad to see the back of it. People say seeing the positives in something helps and I would absolutely agree.

    I feel I was lucky with the side effects of most of the chemo sessions compared to other stories.  However the radiotherapy that followed was far worse.

    After treatments and a stem cell transplant I was wiped out and a shadow of my former self regarding strength and mental abilities and general capacity and did think at imes what the future would look like.

    Pleases to say I'm doing well.  I'm back at my old job all be it part time. I mostly look forward to doing things with the family and making memories more so than wondering if the cancer will come back.

    There is life after cancer. Stay positive.

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