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Breast aidep update - mastectomy required, still in shock

subedo23
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Thanks for all your thoughtful messages.

I have to have a mastectomy. Found out a week ago, in shock. I'm 49 and my children are 12 and 8. 

I keep meeting older people this has happened to. It does make a difference when your kids are so young, it's awful that this happens to anyone, but when your children are still young it really sucks. 

I got low grade so i guess i'm lucky, but not feeling it right now.

Thanks for all your support, i wrote on someone elses post and got so many lovely messages.

Su

x

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    Sue 

    sorry you have had a diagnosis I no the shock I had BC last July the beginning early days are horrendous but I promise you as weeks go by things move quickly and you start to feel more in control 

    my life is now fully back to normal and I feel amazing the odd hot flush but I can manage this 

    good luck here to help chat anytime love Lara x ️

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    Hi,

    I just had a single mastectomy almost two weeks ago. Im only 36 and my kids are 3 and 6 so I know what you mean, and nothing anyone says makes it better. When my mum was 49 she also went through it and now I understand the strength she had.
    It's not going to be an easy ride emotionally but I really am trying to love myself, and as tough as it's been I haven't shied away from my kids, they are used to seeing me in the shower so I've continued with that so they know this is the new normal and it's nothing to be embarrassed about. 
    Are you having a reconstruction? I have to wait a year for mine so will have to use prosthesis in the meantime, but also hoping I have the confidence to sometimes go without. 
    Surround yourself with people that love and care, I've felt so much love from my nearest and dearest and it really has meant the world to me to keep me going xxx
     

  • Offline in reply to jjchoccy

    Hi i'm so sorry to hear that you have had to deal with this as well as your mum. I think it's so wonderful you feel you can share it with your children. 

    I feel a lot of support from my husband and friends and dad, it's brought a lot up emotionally for me. My sister doesn't text or call to see how i am. Just sends messages like, are you still having your party? She is 44. I feel let down by her. If it wasn't for my new family, I wouldn't want to go on. I'm very used to being let down by my mother, so it's not really too painful. But i keep thinking how wonderful it would be to have a loving mother right now and getting very upset about that. And really missing my nans. But we can't have everything. I've not had an easy life, moved out very young, been on my own with no one to lean on until i met my husband. As my nan died when i was 28. I just want to protect my kids from any worry. I will tell them as soon as i've had the operation. Once i know i'm in the clear, then they won't worry. I know it may not sound the right way, but can't do any other way. 

    Do you mind me asking how long the operation was? They said they would reconstruct at the same time, but who knows. They talked about taking fat from my belly, but i don't have much. 

    Do you still have your mum? I hope so. 

    Thanks for writing. Sending love.x

    It's a shock isn't it. Especially at your age. You're not a teacher are you? I was until last year. Keep reading about teachers getting it. x

  • Offline in reply to subedo23

    Hi,

    Aw sorry to hear some haven't been supportive, focus on the people that are. I said to the same to my husband, all my friends have sent me cards and gifts, I've had slippers and pj's and doughnuts and flowers, you name it and it has really made me feel loved, where as my own brother hasn't even visited me in the two months I've been diagnosed. We aren't overly close but we do see each other and speak and it really made me realise how much everyone has stepped up apart from my own family. Haven't even had a text from his wife the whole time !! I don't want people to spend money on me sending me things but even stop by for a cup of tea would mean the world. I'm the same as you luckily my husband is absolutely incredible and I wouldn't even be out of bed if it wasn't for him so rather than worry about it I'm just grateful for the love people have shown me. And in relationships you give what you get so don't waste enegery on people who don't deserve it.
     

    Yes you have to do what's right for you and your kids, mine are a bit younger so maybe easier for them as they don't over think it. But kids are so resilient and maybe thier extra love and care is what you need. 
     

    I think overal my op and in recovery room was about 2 hours but with a reconstruction I think it's much longer. They said to me about tummy fat to reconstruct next year, I think they prefer it to implants if they can but maybe you'd need implants if you are small. My mum is still here, she had a reconstruction using fat from her back. Again I love my mum dearly but we can't talk about me without it going back to her and sometimes I just want her to sit there and say this is crap for you rather than saying all about her.
     

    no not a teacher, I was a beauty therapist but didn't go back to work after having the kids to enjoy them while they are young. What did you do after teaching? xxx

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