I'm not sure how to negotiate this forum, I keep pressing the wrong things.
Anyway Thank You so much for the positive replies.
in a nutshell I've cared for people with cancer since I was 14 in one capacity or another. I lost the love of my life 4 years ago, I don't feel I've ever had peace of mind. Now it's my turn I always wished it was me and not the people I loved. But I'm on a journey now because I do want to live and I'm gonna give it a go. Again I thank those who replied because it feels like other people in this crazy world are Living with cancer. I'm definitely going to work on my anxiety, not paper over ther cracks. I wish you all peace of mind and serenity.
