My husband is upset I told a friend of ours I have cancer.

I have just been given a ticking off from my husband who is angry that I told a friend of his that I have cancer.

I met his friend by chance at the petrol station when he said hello and commented I had lost a bit of weight and that I looked great as he thought last time he saw us in the street last year he thought I did not look too well.

So out it came.....I'm afraid I look better than I am as I have cancer but getting on with it

This happened a couple of weeks ago.

This  week I have been told that my cancer has moved from right breast to left after being given the all clear this  year in May that it was a low grade very small tumour in my right breast and not a concern.

I don't understand why my husband is berating me with " Oh I saw X today and he told me that you told him your story"

I feel husband is not empathetic and tells me to stop being morbid.

Should I just tell everyone I meet who tells me how good I look that all is well?

 

 

  • Hi Cath

    Run it by your GP first as the GP DOES have direct contact with the Beatson team.

    You want to come across as informed and involved.

    If you don't know where to get the information prior to Beatson visits get back in touch with the GP with your list.

    The Beatson will be overwhelmed just now as it was even pre covid so use the time allocated in the short appointment time to ask the questions that the GP cannot answer.

    Good luck and again remember you are getting the best treatment in Scotland from the Beatson.

  • Hi,

    Awe thank you for that. The oncologist comes from the Beetson through to appointments for my appointments. 
     

    you have reassured me he hopefully has my best interests at heart, 

    I was just shocked he said because I had no symptoms chemo would not be offered. 

  • Hi, 

    Thank you so much that's made me feel more confident. 

  • Hi Cath

    The prescription of chemo is NOT given across the board this is something the GP should explain and btw it is correct that chemo not suitable for all cancers.

    The GP will explain this to you.

    This is another question to add to your GP list 

    why is my particular cancer treatment NOT suitable for chemo?

    what treatments ARE suitable for my cancer?

    Good luck and don't forget that you have a centre of excellence involved in your treatment.

     

     

  • Hi,

    I don't really have any contact with my GP maybe I should change that. 
     

    Im glad you e told me that about the Beetson .

     

  • Contact with the GP is good but make sure it IS a GP in the practice that is someone you are condident with and have faith in (as you can get some right eejits).

    Keep to the same GP for continuity of care.

    Perhaps consider getting  a named MacMillan nurse allocated to you to sit in during your hospital appointments ( they just sit at the back of the room and listen)

    Make use of CLAN as you are in Scotland.

  • Hi,

    I will thank you. So is the colectoral nurse that fits in not a McMillan nurse?. Xx

  • Hi Cath

    You can find this out straight from the horses mouth by calling MacMillan Cancer Helpline in the 0800 number published online for the MacMillan Cancer Helpline U.K.

    Perhaps consider asking if it's OK to have a MacMillan nurse at appointments at the hospital to support you.

    Perhaps consider asking if the oncology nurse is NOT a MacMillan nurse if it is OK to have a MacMillan nurse there, to support you or to relay the information exchanged during the appointment again and again after the appointment has finished so that you fully understand what was said.

    Its easy to switch off your brain during such appointments as you get overwhelmed with it all so it's good to have someone such as a MacMillan nurse there to go over what was said to you.

    Usually the oncology nurse is not a MacMillan nurse but YOU must check for yourself whether this IS the case or not at your hospital appointments as many procedures have changed as a result of the pandemic.

  • Hi,

    oh thank you so much I will do that because it is o rrehelming very much so. 
     

    I never felt like this the last time had cancer probably because they were looking at Curitiba then and a treatment plan including surgery were put in place. 

  • Hi Cath

    Getting in touch with MacMillan Helpline today will answer your question whether the colorectal nurse IS a MacMillan nurse or not?

    Should they not be able to answer this question then ASK them how you find out? and who you ask?

    Then ask the helpline operator how to go about getting a MacMillan nurse allocated to you to sit in, during your hospital appointment?

    The justification of you requesting a MacMillan nurse is that you want the support of such a person to go over what was said during the consultation because you find all the information a bit overwhelming and can't take it all in.

    You would be grateful for the support of a MacMillan nurse in this circumstance and how do you go about getting this MacMillan nurse support in place during your hospital appointment with the oncologist or whoever else the consultant is?

    You ARE in good hands at this centre of excellence.