I lost my beautiful Mum a few hours ago. She's had various cancers for years and fought bravely and strongly but she'd had enough and wanted to go. I was with her at the end. My Mum cared for my stepdad when he had cancer during this time. I'm scared to grieve incase I can't stop. My boyfriend has cancer so I can't talk to him as he's under enough strain. I came home to find him sleeping on the sofa and I know he did this to wait up for me. He had so much chemo today too and he's been such a support even visiting my Mum knowing he has the same disease. This is why I can't grieve, where do these amazing people get their strength and huge hearts from to find it within to care for others when they're suffering, when I just want to break and feel sorry for myself. How do I be like my Mum and boyfriend instead of grieving as I feel selfish because it's happened to Mum and happening to my boyfriend. They've endured the treatments and pain, not me.