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My dad just been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer

andylou
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Hi, 

My dad last week, after having some confusion and falling over was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer which has spread to his hip, lower back and there are some lesions on his brain, He has been given some medication and the confusion has gone and can walk ok although some back pain. He is 4 hours away, I don't have a great relationship with my stepmom, never fallen out just dont talk. I went with one of my brothers to see him at the weekend. He started radiotherapy today but we dont know what else is happening. He had a biopsy last week...I dont know if he will have chemo or is it too late for that...im not next of kin so they wont tell me anything. My step mum has said she doesn't know anything but she won't push for answers either. He was a heavy smoker up to 5 years ago then went onto a vape. He's desperate for it...she doesnt want him to have it which I get but on the other hand I just want him to be happy...esp if he hasnt got long. I just feel so helpless so far away and not knowing how long my dad has - from good old google I understand this is terminal now..Im so heartbroken. To top it all someone I work with got a positive covid result today so I cant go down there now at the weekend in case I have it as could take a few days to show up :-(  

I suppose my reason for posting is to hear some others experiences and what can I expect from here....xx

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    Hi ,

    My dad was diagnosed stage 4 lung cancer, spread to bones definatley in the hip,  back in June 5months ago.  He's had 3 rounds of chemo and the tumour showed  a significant shrinkage.which was great 

    Day to day it is hard, because my auntie wants to be there all the time. I have a son and I work etc and my dad doesn't want me to see him at appointments etc, so I understand your frustration of feeling helpless. But believe me, the oncologist will decide the best treatment for your dad and it may seem trial and error for a bit ,there may be wobbly times, but riding these waves will become a new way of life. You will have good days when you call him and he's OK and days when he's not. But don't panic. I googled so much when I found out and it is so grim. I was told Terminal means less than a year. Non curable/ treatable there is no time scale.  So do not think Terminal. It may not be the case! Once he's on a treatment plan he will feel more in control and so will you. 

    I understand your pain, but you will find strength and so will your dad. 

     

    Take Care x

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