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New round here! My dad has been taken off chemotherapy

PatTate
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Hi all,

I'm new round here, just signed up after having read many threads on here over the last few weeks. My Father has been diagnosed with an advanced cancer in the stomach which has spread to both his lungs and lymph - he was diagnosed about 6 weeks ago. 

Since being diagnosed, my Dad has had 2 rounds of Chemotherapy (the strongest type). This, somehow, has made the cancer worse (a rarity as I understand it). He has now been taken off of Chemotherapy as it's not effective. 

Needless to say I'm heartbroken, devastated - but optimistic. I don't want to be the guy who always talks to his friends about his Dad having cancer, so perhaps this forum can act as my respite? My Dad lives in Poland. I returned to the UK yesterday from spending a long weekend with him. I'm looking forward to when the effects of the Chemotherapy wear off in the coming weeks so that I can have a "normal" time with him.

Any advice is always appreciated!

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    Hello PatTate, 

    I hope you won't mind but I have added a few words to your title to make it a little more specific so that others on the forum see immediately from looking at the title of your thread on the homepage that it is about your dad. I am so sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis and that the cancer has now spread to both his lungs and lymph nodes just 6 weeks after his diagnosis. 

    It's so sad that chemotherapy has not worked for him I can imagine this has been devastating news for everyone. I hope that your dad is ok and that there will be other options available to him.

    You have come to the right place though to talk to others who understand what you and your family are going through. It must be extra hard for you as your parents live abroad. It's good though that you have been able to visit him and travelling is becoming a little bit more normal now so you can be with him from time to time. I hope you enjoyed the time you spent with him in Poland. I bet he was really pleased to see you! 

    I will now let our forum members come and say hello and share their own experiences with you. It does help to talk to others who've been through this before. 

    Best wishes to you and your dad. I hope he is starting to feel a little bit better and that you will get to spend some quality time with him again. 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Lucie

    Thank you for the message. I signed up here thinking that my wonderful, strong Dad probably still had many many months to live. Maybe even that a miracle might happen. Or maybe the doctors were wrong. 
     

    Sadly on Friday I learned that he has days, maybe weeks left. 
     

    I'm flying back out to see him in Poland this week. My flight is booked for Thursday but I can't help but thinking I should be on a flight as I type this. 
     

    I don't know how I'm going to cope or live without my Dad. I'm 29 years old - whilst he lives on the other side of Europe, we speak more or less every single day and I'm incredibly close to him. He's my best friend. I share everything with him and to think that may all change is impossible to think about. This disease is so cruel. I am devastated that my Dad won't be there to share so many special moments in my future. When I get married, when I have children and everything that comes with that.


    How do all of the brave posters on here cope? I need to know, because I really don't know how I'm going to function without the security of having my wonderful Dad there. 

  • Offline in reply to PatTate

    My Dad sadly passed away on February 10th. 

    The last few days were particularly tough but I'm glad he's out of the devastating pain and discomfort which he was in. I was with him in Poland until the day he passed. He passed a few hours after I left. 
     

    I've managed and coped really well up until now. 5 months later the grief is hitting me extremely hard. It's effecting my performance at work, it's effecting my day to day life and I feel like I'm completely lost without my Dad. 
     

    The person I'd usually speak with for some clarity or to give me some direction and perspective is my Dad. But he's not here anymore and I don't have anybody who will ever be able to fill the void which he's left. 
     

    I'm not too sure what stage of grief I'm going through. But I really really don't know what I'm going to do without my Dad

  • in reply to PatTate

    I'm so sorry to hear your dad passed away earlier this year Pat. You have our deepest sympathies.

    The journey with grief is very tough, but we are here for you and will do all we can to support you.

    There are many different stages of grief, some of which can be difficult to cope with, but I hope this information we have on our website will help.

    I hope some of our members pick up on your post soon but in the meantime, we're thinking of you Pat and sending our strength your way.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

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