It's all so hard and tiring as a partner and we need some help.  I know the radiotherapy has been done but there is patient transport to help should you need it in future just call the surgery and ask.  There are also groups of people who can help, we have a personal contact at our surgery so call and enquire, mine will get food, sort out any help we need and assist us with problems.  I took time off from work and then went back when not ready so was signed off again.  My HR called me in and said to just stay signed off until I could go back as the it's classed as one leave of absence.  So each time you return to work then go off sick again it adds up more.  HR are there to help you so call them and ask to speak to someone that's what they are supposed to do, help you in times of need.  I hope this helps a little bit.  Best wishes, Carol 

Thanks for your reply Carol! I was concerned that if I talk to HR and question whether I should come back or not, or seem worried about the consequences they will assume I'm fit for work (I know I over think things, which has probably contributed to my stress!) 

My partner is starting to recover but I don't want to overload him with caring for the children and push his recovery back further.

Your employers seem very understanding! Do you mind me asking how long you had off and if there were any formalities? 

Hello Sunflower02021

I can see that our lovely Carol has already offered some good advice. I just wanted to let you know that Macmillan has this information that you may find helpful as well as a helpline that you can call for advice. It may be worth having a look and possibly giving them a call. 

I hope this helps and that your husband improves over the coming weeks. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Firstly thank you Jenn for your kind words.  If your doctor signs you off with stress they will understand because it's not good for them to rush you back to work, you will not do your job properly.  I was off for some weeks then decided to go back after talking to my line manager but then complications set in so I had to go back on the sick.  So eventually HR advised me to just stay signed off until ready, they then gave me shorter hours to get back into my stride.  There are too many rules now regarding forcing people back to work unless you've been off for months at a time, even then there are formalities that have to be followed.  So pleased he's on the way back to recovery, cancer is scary fur you all to cope with.  Good luck, Carol