Hi There

So sorry to hear you are going through this - it's totally rubbish isn't it! 
 

My situation/cancer different but I too had a dilemma over when to tell my sons. They are 14/16. I didn't end up telling them for about 5 weeks after diagnosis. My eldest son was in middle of his final exams and I didn't want to cause any potential upset/worry until he'd completed them. It was quite hard at times, carrying on as if nothing was wrong. However, I definitely think I made the right choice and he was really thankful when I did tell them both.

I was fortunate that I had no treatment due to begin until after his final exam. If I had then I may have had to tell them sooner. I made the decision that I was ok with keeping the diagnosis to myself but that if treatment were to begin I wouldn't try and hide that. I felt it would've been too stressful for me and it may have meant I'd had to lie to them - I didn't want to go down that route. 
 

My personal opinion is that whatever decision you make with regards to telling your children will be the right one. You are obviously giving it a great deal of thought and want to do what is best for them. You also have to remember that you are currently going through a very worrying/stressful situation. Be careful not to put yourself under additional stress over this. They will be upset/worried, of course they will. But they love you and will only want what is best for you. 
 

Sending love. Sarah xx 

Thanks so much Sarah, it's reassuring to hear from you. I hope you are OK and doing well. I know I've not been diagnosed but I'm sure it is. I feel that I will ruin everybody's life, like you probably felt I can't believe it, all the tests have been done so quickly which I'm thankful for, to be honest I feel so well apart from anxiety and panic attacks, yes putting on a face like nothing is wrong is extremely hard, I don't know how long I can keep it up. Can I ask what cancer you have and how long you've had it Sarah, I just keep thinking I'm at deaths door and not many success stories anywhere. Take care and thankyou so much.

Hi

Of course you can ask .... This forum has been so amazingly helpful for me. 
 

I'm 49. Perfectly fit and healthy. Or so I thought! I was diagnosed with breast cancer on 5th May. I'd had the tests two weeks prior to that and at the time of those, I was pretty sure it was cancer. The Dr said at the time she was really concerned about how the mass was presenting itself!

I didn't feel a lump and my boob looked totally normal. I just has a weird stinging sensation very occasionally in one place. That sensation was a cyst that I was knocking/aggravating at times. A lucky cyst though because if not for that I'd still probably be none the wiser re the cancer. 
 

So it was cancer. 3cm's. Plus I had calcifications that too the area to be removed to 7cms. I was just able to have a lumpectomy as opposed to a masectomy. I had option of both, went for the former. I had my op on 8th June. They got clear margins and they took 3 lymph nodes all of which were clear. 
 

I'm now technically cancer free! It all happened so fast from diagnosis. I am just waiting on a decision re chemo. But I will def be having 10 days of radiotherapy and I'll be taking hormone tablets. 
 

it's a journey for sure. And the good thing is ... You are on the way to getting some definite answers very soon. I'm presuming when you have your next appointment they will have all your results and if you do receive a cancer diagnosis then a treatment plan will already have been decided? When are you due to get your results? Do you know yet? 
 

It is very hard putting on a brave face. And if you begin to find it's too tough then maybe make the decision to speak to your sons. What does your husband think? Do you have friends you can talk to? I made the decision to be very open about my diagnosis and treatment. Not telling my sons straight away was the only slight deviation from that. I'm a single Mum so I need my family and friends to keep me upbeat and positive. They are doing a sterling job :)) 

I know it's so hard to quash the anxiety and panic. I've had a few hideous moments along the way. But ... You are in the best hands. If you're gonna read stuff definitely don't go down the negative routes! Yiu don't need to be worrying yourself with that. Your situation is unique to you and your care team are the ones to listen to. 
 

Lots of love. Always here xxx 

Hi Nelly

So lovely to hear from you. I have found that there are often other people on here that have really similar symptoms. When you first get diagnosed its easy to feel like you're alone and that no-one understands. Then you find this amazing forum and realise there are so many wonderful people to offer support, advice and a virtual hug! Not that any of us want to be on here though :( 

The sensation I was feeling was only occasionally, when my upper arm brushed against the side of my boob. It made me think of when your have a blind spot or a piece of glass that you can't see but stings like mad when you run your finger over it. If that makes sense?!? 
 

Then when I had the mammogram and ultrasound they discovered a cyst directly below the skin in that same area. My cancer was buried deep inside my boob and as my boobs are quite tissuey I'm pretty sure it would've been a while since I found it! I'm so thankful. After the op it was graded as a T2 Grade 3. With it being aggressive, god knows how fast it was growing! 
 

Do you have a date for your op yet? I'm glad they're taking whatever it is out! Hopefully then you'll be told more information. 
 

I'm doing well. Far better than I ever imagined I would if someone had told me I'd be going through this! My only dilemma at mo is deciding re chemo. I usually have no problem listening to and taking advice from experts. And I believe everyone that has treated me so far are absolute experts! However, on this I occasion my brain is at loggerheads with the oncology decision. I can't seem to come to a decision that I'm ok with. I'm in the process of seeking a second opinion in order to support my final decision. Def hardest bit so far :( 

Please update me with how you are getting on. Sending love.
 

Sarah xx  

Hello and thank you, it's very positive for you and I'm so pleased. Went for MRI brain scan, just back, the machine cooler had broken down and they couldn't do it, go Thursday now. I know all these tests are the pathway they have to take, but a brain scan is frightened me. All my tests have come back clear, lung function above for my age, heart good, PET scan just highlighted lung tumour 5cm no lymph node involved. Just awaiting bronchoscopy results from yesterday and of course MRI brain scan Thursday. Only my husband knows, my two sisters don't, one of my sisters husband has prostate cancer. I'm hoping it is operable but don't know with lung cancer. Such a stigma attached to it, people always presume you smoke. Sorry to ramble on, I hope I don't come across as selfish and just thinking of myself. Take care and my best wishes.

Of course you don't come across as selfish. Far from it. I'm more than happy to listen! 
 

What a pain re the MRI! More waiting! Almost the worst part of the process!

Its fantastic news that all your other tests/scans are coming back clear honey. Are you waiting for a biopsy result to confirm the mass in your lung? Sorry, I don't know what the diagnosis procedure is for this. 
 

I know exactly what you mean re the stigma around lung cancer. Yet actually in many cases the person has never smoked! I have a friend whose friend was recently diagnosed (she's never smoked!) she's had an operation to remove it. I'm not sure what other after treatment she'll be having. 
 

Cancer is beyond scary. I can't imagine anyone saying otherwise! In between my tests and my results app. I was convinced they were going to tell me I was going to die! Sounds dramatic now! But I absolutely thought the worst. As soon as my consultant told me it was treatable I burst into tears of relief. Once you know exactly what you're dealing with and how you're going to be treated you'll feel a lot less anxious I'm sure. 

Love Sarah xx 
 

It's really nice to chat with you Sarah, even though my husband's been brilliant, I feel I'm going on about it all the time, he's working from home at the moment, has done since covid started. I feel sorry for him, he's got nobody to talk to, I've told him to tell his boss, he's been with the company years. It's the loneliness and that makes it better to chat to you. Yes bronchoscopy yesterday they took sample of lymph nodes, done at North West Lung Centre Wythenshawe, I live not far away. I probably had the odd ciggy in my teens like you do, I said to my husband I'm going to say it's somewhere else not my lungs. My consultant said, when I asked if it was cancer he didn't know for sure until biopsy and if it is they can just zap it, whatever that means, perhaps he was just trying to make me feel better. I'm so happy for you Sarah. Just been a bike ride, too hot! 

Love and best wishes Pam

Hi Pam

it is really good to reach out and chat to people on here. I am more than happy to stay in touch with you xx 

Please let me know how you get on on Thus too. I will be thinking of you. You can private messsge me if you like. 
 

I finally made the difficult decision around chemo this evening. I have decided to have it. I want to do whatever it takes to make the chances of reoccurrence as little as poss. Chemo in my case won't change my odds much - they are already low - but it will alter them. I want to be a Mamma to my boys for as long as possible. So chemo it is! I start on 6th Aug. 
 

Catch up soon. Sarah xxx 

Hi Sarah 

It must be very hard to make that decision about chemo, but it looks good doesn't it, they got it all and it hasn't spread. Your so young Sarah to go through this, I'm 66 so had a good few years, always want a few more though, then I see these elderly people struggling like my father in law was and think would I want to be like that.

Hi Sarah 

It must have been hard to make the decision about chemo, your young and fit, and they did say they got it all and your cancer free, that all looks good. I'm a lot older at 66, had a great life, seen my boys grow up and you will too, now want to see my grandchildren grow up! 

Not sure how to private message Sarah.

Chat soon Pam