Hi. I’m new to the forum

I am new to the forum and I am hoping someone can advise me. My mum was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer at the end of April. She had been seeing a specialist for 8 months and had been admitted to hospital 3 times before she was diagnosed so it has been a huge shock to be told she is terminally ill. 
She chose not to have treatment after being told it would not give her much more time. We were hoping she would have at least 6 months but things seem to be happening quickly. She is not eating and has no energy. She sleeps most of the time. She has just been prescribed dexamethasone. Is this likely to pick her up and give her more time? I know my dad is expecting this to be the miracle drug that will give him mum back for a few more months but I am worried that it might just mask her symptoms after some of the things I have read. I want to hang on to our hope but need to be prepared for reality. I would be really grateful if anyone could share their experiences so I know what to expect. Thank you.

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    Hi Caro,

    A very warm welcome to our forum, although I'm so sorry to hear why you've joined us.

    I am not a doctor and cannot answer your question about your mum's medication. You might find it helpful to phone our nurses who will be able to reply. You can speak to them Monday - Friday from 9.00am - 5.00pm. Their number is 0808 800 4040.

    This is such a difficult time for the family and my thoughts are with you. Please keep in touch and remember that we are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Hi Car001

    I am sad to hear of your mums diagnosis. This cancer can be fast. I can only refer anything to my husband who passed june 2020. He was diagnosed and passed within 2 weeks. 

    During those 2 weeks he had scans blood tests and was told there was nothing they could do. 

    He had to go into hospital to have his ascities drained he had so much fluid in his stomach it swelled up quite big. This and loose bowels and pain is what made him go. The doctors our doctors failed to see him even though he had three or more ailments at once, the day b4 he passed they wanted to do a phone consultation. Couldnt make it up.

    Befor his diagnosis he was getting a lot of discomfort whilst trying to sleep, laying flat was a no for him it caused pain in his back. He had loose bowels often and was not ever hungry. Always felt full up. 

    He went into the hospital and was given some opioid drug that made him go a bit ga ga. He was in for 2.5 days. This was during covid so it was not a good time. 

    No one seemed to have a clue. 

    All i will say is if your mum is going to be at home get the district nurses involved and the marie curie hospice care at home they truly are amazing people. 

    The main thing is get her pain controlled.

    My husband had a syringe drive put in two days b4 he passed this was for pain meds. They increased the dose of an anti anxiety med because he was very fidgety and couldnt settle well. This made a big difference

    Push for what your mum wants. Be there for her. Tell her all you need to. 

    Take care of your dad he is going to need people around to help now and later. He will be feeling quite lost in it all. The devastation of losing my husband does not compare to any loss I have suffered. Even now for me it is a struggle. 

    This may be the toughest time of your life but being there will help in the long run. 

    I hope you get lots more time with your mum 

    Take care of you to.