Hello

Hi everyone. My name is Jessica and nearly 6 weeks ago my mum was diagnosed with a stage 4 aggressive lymphoma cancer. The tumour has affected her stomach (causing a perforation of the stomach lining), spleen (which has been completely destroyed) and the tail of her pancreas. She has completed her first cycle of chemo and is part way through her second, her next cycle is near the end of April. She has just returned home after being discharged from hospital on Monday. Her hospital stay was prolonged after we found out the trauma caused to organs (mentioned above) and after an episode of blood clots which she has had treatment to dissolve them, the blood clots will take weeks to fully dissolve we have been informed. I am currently the main support for my mum. She has support around her, but as her daughter I feel like I want to be there every step of the way.

I just want to say, I hope I may be able to help others out on this forum and will be grateful for any advice I am given.  

  • Hi Jessica ... And welcome to our little chat room ... 

    There is no easy way through what your feeling and it's just about hanging on...  You sound like an amazing daughter and I bet your mum's very proud of you ... 

    All I can say is what helps me on this journey we find ourselves on ... I was so scared when I first heard the word cancer, and I took a couple of days away from everyone and just needed to get my head around it all ... What I did after was not worry about how long I had left... I just take every day as a gift ... I try to find something to smile about every day ... I live in the now ... Tomorrow isn't here yet ... 

    My mum died suddenly when I was 39 and I would do anything for just one day with her .. you have a little time to make every day count ... On good days find out if there's anything she still wants to do .. have fun and make memories that will live in your heart forever ... On hard days, you just sitting holding her hand will mean more then you'll ever know .. sometimes we don't need words ... Lots of hugs, and sharing a few tears together because too many just try to be brave when sharing all those feelings is good for the soul ... And leave nothing unsaid ... Listen to your mum as there maybe things she needs to say that may be hard to hear but you'll be glad you did ...

    On the positive side, there are lots here pushing their diagnosis further and further down the road... And they are here and give hope to others ...  So let's hope you get a lot more days and memories yet ... 

    How lovely of you to want to help others ... There's a lot of new threads of others in your position and I'm sure they would benefit hearing from you and how you care for your mum ... Take care brave lass ... You can do this ... And if ever you need a shoulder, there's always someone here to listen ... Chrisie xx