Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 1 reply
  • Views 169 views
  • Users 0 members are here

How do I thrive again?

SPINDROP
Offline

Hi,

I've just found out that I have a malignant tumour in my bowel and I am awaiting the CT scan results to know if it has spread at all. I haven't told anyone yet including my family.

The recent revelations of what's going on inside my body have made sense of the last 5 or 6 years of my life. I'm a very ambitious person who's always willing to take risks and I started my personal development journey very early on in life. I managed to create a great life for myself that was only getting better and bigger. My career and identity had been built around high energy, being goal-oriented, trying new things and being very social.

About 6 years ago I started suffering from chronic fatigue. This was the beginning of a downward spiral that I wasn't aware was happening. I chalked it down to laziness and burn out (burn out was a bit true) and I would always beat myself up and be ashamed of my 'laziness'. This caused me to be distant from my friends, not take new opportunities out of fear of getting tired and not being able to keep up, and over time develop depression and anxiety. This affected everything.

3 years before the chronic fatigue started I would occasionally see bright red blood in my poo, but I felt fine. When I did eventually see my GP they said it was probably a Fischer, and my fatigue was due to depression. Nothing was working.

I will admit I am a bit relieved to finally have an answer for what's been going on with me. I'm currently unemployed, living at home with my parents at the age of 30, desperately trying everything from therapy to diets, to regular exercise, just to make something meaningful out of my life again - and now that I've been diagnosed I have a bit more clarity on my situation.

I just feel like I'm at a pivotal point where I can go into a depressive crisis again or I can use this as a starting point for a purpose. I'm not sure if anyone if anyone else felt the same when they were diagnosed but I hope this perspective can help someone.

 

I genuinely want help, advice, resources, anything that I can use to stay encouraged and take some bite-sized steps towards not only surviving this illness but also thriving after treatment.

 

If there are any like-minds out there who believe they can help - I would love tohear from you.

I dont know what to expect, but I'm hoping to remain optimistic and focused.

 

Hope this helps someone other than myself too.

 

Stay blessed everyone... 

  • Hello Spindrop

    I'm very sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. I know that this period following diagnosis but still waiting for more tests and treatment plans can be difficult and it's natural to feel anxious about things. Hopefully, you won't have to wait too long for the CT results and the team will be able to meet with you to discuss the best way forward. 

    I know we often have members post here on the forum who have chosen after diagnosis not to immediately share the news with family or loved ones. It's not an uncommon coping technique to deal with the shock of the diagnosis. I'm glad that you felt you were able to reach out for support here on the forum. 

    You mention in your post that you've struggled with your mental health at points over the past few years and I'd really encourage you to talk to someone about your situation so that they can provide support. It may be a family member or friend or you may choose to speak to your GP or even our team of nurses for example. If you'd like to speak to our team of nurses for some advice and support you're welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm. 

    The NHS website Every Mind Matters has lots of advice and tips for coping with stress and anxiety as well as links to other organisations that can offer support. 

    In terms of this being a pivotal point, I think you're right. I know we've had many members here over the years who have made significant life changes following a cancer diagnosis. But what I would say, for now, is try not to think too far ahead. Concentrate on getting through this first phase of your journey and dealing with whatever treatment plan is agreed with the Consultant. Some days this will be enough for you to manage. 

    Stay positive Spindrop. Talk to those around you, you'll need their support. Keep in touch with us here on the forum. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.