Hello everyone,
First post so I hope it's in the right area!

Firstly I hope I don't cause any offense with my worrying, I nearly didn't post this at all in case it tries to take away from anyone actually fighting this, I just don't know where to dump my thoughts.

I'm a 29 year old engineer and recently (last 5 years I'd say) I'm getting really bogged down in my own fears of the future to the point I'm scared of my job now.

A small bit of backstory my dad died of lung cancer when I was 12, I watched him slowly go from it and it was pretty rough.
He was a joiner to trade and smoked fairly heavily.
Apparently he never wore a mask at work, as they didn't on those days.

I started smoking at 17 and didn't manage to stop it until about 25, moving onto a vape before binning it completely early last year.

At 21 I became an apprentice mechanical maintenance engineer for the NHS, and did worked in several buildings built from 1870 up to the present day.

I got confident in my abilities and started doing maintenance work for family after work in their places of business, in places built around the 60s I'd guess.

In the middle of one of the bigger jobs I was doing for family I did an asbestos awareness course at work and I've went into a blind panic ever since.

Now my mind replays every job I've ever touched, from car brake pads to drilling holes in walls, and working in dusty environments (however briefly) and it tortures me of how that might have been asbestos, how it's going to kill you in the future now, the clocks ticking what's the point in making future plans...you get the picture.

I've pulled up carpet in my mum's house (probabaly asbestos under there, ripped it up dry as bone)

Had to shut off a fire alarm in a building that was being prepared for demolition with a colleague who doesn't see any danger (is it just me?) with a (in my opinion) disreputable asbestos contractor kicking up so much dust it set off the alarms, boss tells me it was just plasterboard, I don't know anymore.

The work I've done for the family also worries me, a particular job in a shop built in the 60s must have disturbed all kinds of nasties, although I did check the asbestos report and didn't touch anything that was marked, it's what wasn't marked that keeps me up at night.

Now at 29 I'm still in engineering, now marine based.
The company gets asbestos removed properly, but seems a little poor at identifying it to begin with, and again, everyone doesn't bat an eyelid.
Except me.
Every time I smell something other than clean fresh air I panic, and dig around for a respirator, try and leave the area or make some excuse to leave for a while.

It's all compounding in my head to the point every cough, twinge or symptom is cancer, it got my dad, now it's aiming for me, and I've accidentally pulled the trigger already and now all I can do is wait and see, it's ruining my life.

For the last few years I've been religiously wearing masks in work environments, trying to keep clean and healthy, to the point people I work with laugh at how seriously I take things nowadays.

Has anyone been in a similar position? (or even read my wild rantings-if you have thank you from the bottom of my heart)

How did you start living life again?
I'm terrified I'm going to get sick, either from work or the smoking, and even though I'm trying my best now I can't convince myself it's not already too late, and I'm heading the same way as my dad (he was 45)

Thanks for reading