Hi, 

I'm 38, have no bio children ( but two step daughters) and I'm petrified. 
 

had a Boaderline Ovarian Tunour removed about two years ago. They also took the ovary. 
 

my mum died at 38, heart attack. My maternal grandmother had non Hodgkin's lymphoma. She also died of a heart attack. 
 

here I am. 38, one ovary, no Fallopian tubes, a womb that has one side of its blood cut off, some minor autoimmune issue, with now two abnormal smear tests. 
I am being sent for a colposcopy next week. 
Currently hiding from stepkids crying. I'm absolutely terrified. Not about the colposcopy. More about what that finds. What they probably will do. 
 

that's it, not sure what else to write. Also feel like a fraud for positing on here.