I received my diagnosis (admittedly for a different cancer - large cell neuroendocrine thymic tumour) which had metastasized to my bones and liver only after my back broke last July - although now that I look back, I had not been feeling that great before that.  I was told that I was Stage 4 and had 6 to 12 months to live.

I have had 7 cycles of chemotherapy so far and the tumours have shrunk.  I still remain constantly on edge that the slightest pain I feel in my body is a sign that my cancer is spreading - which is ironic considering all the warning signs that I seemed to miss earlier!  I could not have done the chemo without family support so what you are doing for your ex is very courageous and selfless.  I know that there will be bad days for him and you.

I have to stay positive for my family (husband and two grown up daughters aged 26 and 24) but it is hard sometimes.  It took me some time to reach this state of mind and I know that it is difficult for you, your daughters and ex to enlist external help during the pandemic.  You need to enjoy his good days and once we are all out of lockdown, try to get yourself some time away from the house and do something nice with your girls.  You need to retain your strength as well as your own mental health.