Hi Family79,

A very warm welcome to our forum. I am so sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. Unfortunately, your description of your emotional state is par for the course. No matter how well we think we are prepared, it always hits us like a brick.

I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer in the past 11 years and was an emotional wreck when I was first diiagnosed. I am normally a strong and fairly self-sufficient person, but I cried constantly, couldn't sleep or eat and feared the worst. My mother had breast cancer 20 years before me and she had a very unfortunate experience throughout her cancer journey and I expected the same. I have two children and I was worried that I wouldn't see them grow up.

Fortunately, none of this came to pass. Treatments have improved dramatically in that time and, there was just no comparison between the experience that we both had. I have since seen my children go to university, graduate, settle in employment, get married and have familys of their own. You will find it easier to get your head around this once you start your chemo and, begin to fight this. You possibly have a difficult year ahead of you, but it is 'doable' and, things will settle down after this.

The main attribute that will help you to get through this is positivity, both in yourself and in those surrounding you. I know that this seems difficult at present, but it will come with time.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you so much for your response Jolamine... Im so lucky to have a very supportive boyfriend, family and friends but with the current covid situation my family and friends support is by phone as I am unsure when I will get the vaccine.

It's the fear of the unknown and not knowing what to expect so talking to people who have been through this is so helpful and makes me feel more positive. 

I will keep in touch. 

Family79 xx

Hi Family79,

It is difficult to deal with this at the best of times, so Covid makes it even harder. I am glad to hear that you have supportive family, friends and boyfriend, but discussing things over the phone will never replace discussing things face to face.

Fear of the unknown is the biggest thing in this situation and our imainations tend to run away with us. Regardless of the outcome, it becomes easier to cope once you know what you are up against.

I hope that you get your start date soon. Please let us know when it comes through.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine,

Things have moved very fast this week and I start EC chemotherapy tomorrow. 

Hi family 79

welcome to the forum I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis the journey is like a rollercoaster ride

I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer in 2007 i had lumpectomy and full ancillary clearance from my right arm  I was on 4 courses of Fec and4 doxatacel plus radiotherapy and hormone treatment for 9 years

the chemo is not as bad as you think it will be I was terrified before my first session but everyone was kind and caring I did not have a cold cap I preferred to lose my hair rather than  a headache my granddaughter was 18 months old when I was diagnosed she is now fifteen you will get through this i am sure staystrong

Thank you so much for your support.... My oncology nurse said strength is numbers is needed through this. 

hi family79

You are in the same position has I am diagnosed two days before christmas with a grade two ductal carcinoma with three lymph nodes involved  ct scan clear absolutely terrified and when i was told it was a hers 2 i was more terrified however ive had 5 treatments and the lump has gone from a 3,7 cm lump to a pea and the lymph nodes are getting smaller  I am a nurse which makes it worse I hope this help

Ruth x

Hello 

I hope the advice shared in the replies to your post give you comfort. 
I was diagnosed with TNBC 5 years ago aged 43. I had surgery, 6 cycles of FEC and Docetaxel, followed by rads. 
The cancer had spread to 2 of my lymph nodes so they took out 8 of them.
I have fully recovered from BC and while nothing can change how you feel at the beginning of this experience, I do hope that knowing that outcomes are generally good does help. I know it won't feel like that right now when you are looking up at the mountain. 
I hope your first chemo is ok tomorrow. It wasn't pleasant but it wasn't as bad as I feared it might be. 
Thinking of you 

Fiona 

Thank you for your response Ruth, I'm so pleased your treatment is going well, I start EC chemo tomorrow. I just wish I could get rid of this anxious feeling that is constantly in the pit of my stomach... Im trying to think logically and practically but I feel like im on an emotional rollercoaster. I'm training to be a counsellor but counselling myself is not so easy lol. How have you found the treatment?

Rosie x

Thank you so much for your response Fiona, hearing positive stories does help and it helps you to climb that mountain knowing there is another side to it. I'm just trying to focus on one step at a time because if I think about the next thing it's too much.