Hi Cf5,

Did you have both breasts examined two years ago, or just the one? If there was nothing obvious there then, you should be catching this early on if there is something suspicious.

Keeping my fingers crossed.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine,

Yeah, had both breasts examined but just the right breast had an ultrasound. 
 

I'm just terrified that it'll be stage four - the lump under my armpit could be a lymph node where it's spread to and none of us have realised. I keep beating myself up that I wasn't checking well enough. I thought I was being thorough but now I feel like it's my fault and I won't have a fighting chance. Just feeling so scared as I've heard younger women can have more aggressive cancers. 
xx

Hi Cf5,

Don't beat yourself up. Look at the worst case scenario. Even if it has spread to the lymph nodes, these can be removed. If it has spread to other parts these can be zapped with chemo or radiotherapy. Having said this, it is more likely to be early stage if anything and, this is easier to deal with.

It is all the unknowns that tend to set our minds racing. Try to keep busy to distract yourself from the wait for your appointmentand, whatever you do, steer clear of the internet, as this will only scare you further.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine,

I just keep shaking all the time. I feel like my lymph nodes are all showing up on the same side now, and I can feel flat, smooth almost glass like lumps around the lump of concern now and a few leading up towards the armpit. I just can't believe this is happening. 
xx

Hi Cf5,

From what I have read on this site, most of the smooth lumps are not the ones to worry about. It is the more ragged edged ones that can prove problematic. I know that it's hard to believe that this is happening. Many of us are almost in denial at this stage, so how you are feeling is perfectly normal.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine,

The main lump of concern feels that way to me. My family and friends keep snapping at me for not thinking positively but they don't have what I have, and it doesn't feel good. I feel like I'm being realistic. 
 

I just I haven't been too late in finding it but I'm desperate to know. You just want to give yourself the best chance possible for treatment purposes.

So sorry to be messaging you so late. I just feel like I need to get my feelings out there. 
 

Thank you xx

Hi Cf5,

You can message me at any time. It is hard to be positive all the time and it is good to be realistic too. That way, if the diagnosis turns out to be unfavourable, you are in some small way, prepared for it. On the other hand, if nothing untoward is found you are free to celebrate.

We're always here whenever you want to express your feelings.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine,

I had an examination today from a consultant (unfortunately I couldn't get an ultrasound today) and he doesn't seem concerned. Part of me feels relieved but it all happened so fast - I feel like he barely examined me and he only used the palm of his hands. I'm worried in case he missed the areas that I'm worried about, they just feel so sinister to me. I have a hard time trusting doctors due to health anxiety - I just don't want to get my hopes up but I'll try to take some comfort. 
 

I should be able to get an ultrasound in 2 weeks time so I'll let you know how that goes. Thank you for being there. Xx

Hi Cf5,

Thank you for the update. I'm sorry to hear that you couldn't get your ultrasound today and, that you don't feel totally reassured by your consultant's examination. It is good to hear that you will still get the ultrasound in 2 weeks, so take heart that your consultant is not discharging you without any further tests and, wants to be absolutely certain.

You will normally find that most consultants have seen so many cancer patients that they are pretty accurate with their own gut feelings. I sincerely hope that this will be the case for you. I look forward to hearing the outcome.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine,

I really hope so. I would be devastated if he was wrong or rushed through because of my age but hopefully everything will be okay. Xx