So at 29, i had my first smear test, previously made impossible due to vaginismus which made intercourse extremely painful. I waited until i was 27 to have sex, always used condoms and never allowed my partner to orgasm in my mouth. I have had two partners, one is my current. My previous had only had one sexual partner before me and my current partner is dedicated to safe sex as am i. 

I got both my partners tested before i was intimate with them, and myself and after things ended at 28 with my first partner.

Both partners waited for sex circa 6 months.

Today i got my results back from a private OBGYN-- i have HPV but not abnormal cells. Of course all the horrifying questions came to me after i took the phone call, therew up afterwards feeling sick, disgusted and ashamned of myself. 

I never had the vaccine because it wasn't offered to me when i was at school or it was in the new phase of testing so not much was known about it.

Does anyone know what no abnormal cells but presence of HPV means? I've googled it and am getting frightened about genital warts and cancer. My OBGYN said i don't have to do anything except come back in a year for a test, which was extremely painful and difficult given my vaginismus. 

I am thoroughly disappointed, so does this mean i have a high strain i.e. associated with cancer or the type associated with warts? I read that 90% of women who have HPV will not know they do unless tested and the new system tests for HPV and abnormal cells. But as i do not have abnormal cells under the old test they never would have tested for HPV?

Does this mean that my partner and I will pass it back between ourselves and i will always be infected despite having always used condoms? As there is no reliable test for men, i feel like this puts women in a very difficult situation emotionally and i feel embarrassed and disgusted. It took 27 years to feel safe with someone enough to try to be intimate and now this happens and i just feel like i never want to have sex again.

Is there any support anywhere it feels like i'm qutie alone, i would never tells friends or family because this is just shameful.