You are not alone,I normaly love Xmas day,well last couple years but norm love good Xmas dinner.im on couple mouthfuls a day of food,if I can manage ,which day after I norm can't.so I know where your coming from.my oldest son who is 30 is staying with me& my other two sons from northwest are taking it in turns to come& stay so I'm not alone! I have no partner& I've been upstairs out of the way as everything's grating my nerves at minute.only found out on 17 th& I'm scared witless.opp other side country on 27/1! I'm not use to being out of control! I feel like I'm treading water in a popped dingymy lil chihuahas follow me around ,never out my sight,like they know& my 15 ye old daughter I banished to northwest with her brothers& my ex hubby & his partner as it's beter she's there having good time with them and not watching me getting sicker.i watched my mum pass away after her first chemo,3 days later,she got pneumonia they said..it was horrific memories I can't escape so I'm scared to death and feel so alone,esp nights,it's so dark where I live,I've just moved house where was plenty light to new development off beaten track to new town,no friends except couple from old town who have helped get me to hoz appointments,the friends thought were friends have not been in touch at all,like the old saying,soon you mention cancer,people avoid you,I'm so alone