Hi all.ive been feeling bloated& had bit diorehia for couple wks,went to docs after 2 day wait,got a face to face appointment.he told me if I was his relative he'd send me first thing into hoz emergency appointment.i went NXT day at 9 am,had bloods taken,covid test,internal up my bum( bit of shock) MRI scan and CT scan and two hours later told I have 13 cm by 13 cm mass around my ovary!! I'm 52, live in prestatyn,Wales& I feel like I'm treading water.i live with no partner and just my 15 year old daughter who knows I'm having a radical hysterectomy miles away in Bangor,where I'm more concerned about catching covid up there than about procedure.im having real hard time eating even complain makes me nausious,I'm just eating couple mouthfuls a day,one day few mouthfuls the next nothing ,can only drink water,I'm getting weaker but I'm taking one day at time,I sent my daughter away to my ex hubby in North West so she won't have any bad memories of this xmas.ive lost most members of my family to burst brain aneurysm,before age 52, my poor mum aged 51 to breast cancer& that alone has been so stressful,trying to get my doctor to take it serious,but after 3 years I finally got my mamogram and after only 2 days got all clear!! Just around that time I started with low energy so fast forward to Xmas day I've had nothing but running around getting prescriptions,appointments for preopps as my operation is 27 Jan,I'm scared stiff,dry heaving in mornings,awake on the hour all thru night,moved house on Thursday( houseswap couldn't let other person down)have my 30 son here,as he's a body in house with me if something goes wrong.hes been good to me building beds up but he's only just got his own place& tbh I'd be beter off alone.my ex hubby has new partner now and so it would norm him here,we've not been together 23 years but I could always rely him apart from last year half.i can't anymore...everything's changed but I'm genuinely happy for him.hes a man who needs a woman so I'm happy for him.i have no family left now only two cousins,I thought I'd escaped the curse of getting older than 52I even put off having my teeth out& screw ins put in but now this,I have no insurance,if I die during OPP,I'm worried beyond belief,im dreading getting covid while in hoz up there,more cases up that end I'm scared stiff,I use to have bit fight but just feel I'm out control& I'm panicking wreck with no one to talk too...I went for my premed Xmas Eve and was told I had another mass on other ovary toowhy didn't they tell me when told me at first.its not a secondary I was told but when open me up if find anything else will remove then.did I also mention I have sickness phobia tooand been told I'll need  a dose chemo after too..the opp I'm prepared for althou told myself it's just hysterectomy..my heads all over place.its a lot!!! I feel like I'm drowning....