Hi LC1400, 

So very sorry to read your story and hear about your fathers diagnosis. I am in a similar situation to yourself my Mother has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 peritoneal cancer in the past 6 weeks or so. I feel like my world has crash infront of me as my mum is my best friend and my world! I feel like I need to be doing something but not sure what. I also ask her x10000 a day is she is ok and that I love her. I am the youngest also (well just turned 31) and with my mum the most. I do not have any children like my brother and sister do so it is extra hard for me to think my mum may not meet my possible children one day also. So weird and selfish to say but I myself feel so effected by this I feel like I have the illness! I know that sounds extream. My mum is putting me to shame really as I keep crying. Not usually emotional too much but I feel its better out than in! So do cry if u feel to. I feel awful for crying when she isnt but I just cant help it. My dad is like yourself and doesnt show much emotion, just anger. I would much prefer him to cry to let it out!  But people deal in different ways. 

Jogging/gym helps my mind loads, or a walk!! I have a therapist too which helps! Worth the money.
 

But Your dad seems very tough! And has been down this road before and is still here, so I am sure he is doing brilliant! You must be strong for him as he will want to know you are ok too! I know its wayyy harder said then done. Stay hopefull!! 
 

Youre in my prayers and thoughts! Sending you lots of light and positivity!! Feel free to message anytime. Sorry if I rambled on. But hope this helps you in someway to understand you are not alone youre feelings are normal. Keep going xx

Hi there ...and welcome to our little chat room....

Your deff not alone ... that's why so many find their way here .. we know so well how we need someone in the same boat going through it too ... we've got the tee shirt as they say .... 

All I'd say having more expierance then I should have , is it's o.k to feel what you and your heart and head tell you ... it's o.k to feel angry or sad ... it's o.k to block it out sometimes ... and it's o.k to smile too .. it's just getting things in BALANCE  ... get it out ... then move on to "normal" stuff to ...

It's good to share those feelings shared tears and admitting your scared ... Will help you far more then holding it in ... that will weigh everyone down ... this last journey... I think is not looking at the whole picture as then it's overwhelming... live in the day ... make ever day count ... make as many memories while there's time .. say what's on your heart .. leave nothing unsaid ... look at old photos ... ask about their life growing up ... bet there's lots you done know ... watch a movie ... doesn't have to be big things .. if you say they are here today , and fill that day ... you'll look back and be proud you didn't waist a day ..

Remember , no one is promised tomorrow.... any one of us with an illness or fighting fit can be called home ... so each day is a blessing ... hold on to today ... sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie x

Hi SL20,

Thank you so much for being the first person to respond to me. It really means a lot as I was so nervous!

Firstly, I am so sorry to hear about your mom - she sounds very lucky to have you around looking after her. It's so scary isn't it, all the appointments and different terms and how much goes on.  I hope she's doing well and staying strong. 
I understand what you mean , you don't sound selfish at all when you say you have them thoughts about your future I've had them too. I think that might've been one of the first things I said to my boyfriend after I found out. 
 

I'm glad you let it out in front of your mom, as you say I bet she's thankful you're so open in your relationship with her. I can definitely relate to your dad - anger is an emotion you feel more than I would ever expect in this journey. But I'm learning all emotions are valid and normal in this.  
 

I definitely should take more walks, I always find myself busy with uni work or other stuff I don't take as much time for myself away from everhrhjnt. I will try to do that more. 
 

Thank you for talking to me.- I am sending all my best wishes and positive thoughts to you and your mom and all your family. It's not a nice boat to all be in together but it's nice to know there's other people around!