Hello walter 3112,

                            its a bleak place you currently occupy and one that takes your emotions to high and lows l can only begin to understand, so it is good to read that amongst the personal grief you have support from those around you that truly care for you,along with anticipation of forthcoming events.

l understand well your pain about the effects it is having on your immediate family since l suffered similar anguish having been diagnosed whilst living and operating a large guest house complex,which my wife could not have run on her own.So l had the stress of treatment alongside building a small retirement bungalow for her,which became all consuming in my efforts to accomplish with a prognosis that did not bode well for a recovery.

 l came out the other side and managed to achieve that,and in amongst the illness and anguish it gave me a focus which on reflection was brutally helpful.l am sorry this does not appear to be an option for yourself,but hopefully you will understand what l am saying,and will go on to achieve all the personal goals you have set for yourself.    

                                                           l hope you get to enjoy good days amongst the challenging ones,and that there are still smiles and some happiness amongst the pain and sadness,go gently on yourself,

             David