So scared!

Hi everyone, I hope this finds you all safe and well!

On Thursday night I found quite a large lump on the left side on my left boob...got up Friday and made and phoned the doctors, they had me in to see them at 11.45am, where I had a thorough breast examination....she found it straight away and said she feels positive that the lump is really mobile...even though she told me that a cyst is usually so smooth lole a marble....she said mine is smooth but does have a bit of cragginess....

So she fast tracked me to the Breast clinic and said I will have a mammogram, probably an ultrasound as I'm 42? And if they need more then a biopsy too.

I'm trying to be strong, but I am absolutely terrified and cant stop thinking they will tell me I'm going to die.....I'm scared to leave my 6 and 9 year old boys and my husband.....

I just want to cry and not stop but I cant let the kids worry (I have told them) I just love them with everything I have.

Also I'm scared about this pain I've had in my hip and thigh....I'm pretty sure it's because I've put loads of weight on during lockdown....still I cant stop worrying.

Thanks for listening 

Denise xxxx

  • Hi Denise

    I'm so to hear you are feeling anxious and worried just like me. It's a complete nightmare isn't it.. Although a different complaint I really do feel your pain. The kids are the first thing that come into our thoughts. I have had a couple of friends with stories exactly like yours and luckily both turned out absolutely fine. I really hope for the same for you too x

    I had a Hysteroscopy on Thursday (camera investigation) because of abdominal cramping and intermittent bleeding. Adhesions have shown up on imagery.  I do have Adenomyosis (condition where Endometrial lining is affected) so  I was shocked that the adhesions aren't this hence me being really scared, so I'm now waiting on the  biopsy result (3-4 wks) My consultant said she can't give any information that isn't fact and when I mentioned thinking the worst she said try & think positive, said she can't just say I don't have cancer but said the chance of it actually being cancer was 4%. Is that supposed to reassure anyone. I pray for the best possible outcome for every single person on this forum xx

  • Hi hun, thanks so much for responding to my post  

    Yeah it's very scary ....you must be driven mad having to wait that long for results, I really hope it comes back ok...4 % sounds positive doesnt it.....its just having to find out and then take it from there....its a horrible time....I keep going quiet and my husband is worried sick...I can see it a mile away bless him....the kids are like you'll be fine mama lol bless them.....

    Fingers crossed for you and everyone else going through these times xxxx

  • Hi Denise

    I'm exactly the same as you, I'm quiet, the oomph has just gone and my husband too is shouldering my stress along with his own. He's very positive, I wish I could be like him.. My son just called and that lifted me for a whikr. He thinks if there was anything major it would have been seen there and then and they'd say something but I think they wait for  the biopsy results then disclose the full info but I won't tell him that. Again his positivity is nice. I feel trapped in the situation. I seem to wake up around 3am and it is not a good time for me x

  • Awww bless them....your husband sounds similar to mine but I just shake the anxiety of it all...my nerves are shot to pieces like yours, I've not even been to the breast clinic yet to have the tests....oh I'm scared out my mind.....I feel you, you know....my husband said I tossed and turned all night and he wouldn't let go of hugging me all night.....I feel so sorry for them ....i wonder what's going to come of it all....wish we could fast forward a couple of months aye xxxx

  • Indeed. And ditto re the sleep.

    Everything crossed. 

    Take care.

    Xx