Oh dear I'm so sorry to hear your news, never give up hope though, you never know what's happening in the medical world, advances all the time! Will keep you in my thoughts and especially tomorrow with your family.

take care Gx

Thank you so much and everyone else for all your kind comments. We are both still just inshock and disbelief really! But smiling lots! And yes, hopefully no more shepherds pie for a long time.... 

keeping the faith! 

Just to add this keeping the faith thing makes me think of Handmaids Tale ' under his eye!' Lol. 

Jaeof kent

What an absolutely pants day- what on earth can one say to make sense of such a storm. You and yours must not even be able to comprehend or even process what has been said. One thing I can probably say , is that the family tend to 'take it worse' than the actual victim. I don't envy you that task. My husband , after going back to work has had comments like 'oh still around are you' & other delightfully 'happy' comments. I found a few months back a post by Daisy71, about what NOT to say to cancer patients, it was and still is a laugh out loud job... people just can't help themselves......

BUT- there is always one........ There are many on here that are 'palliative' and have been for many years. As I have said before palliative does NOT mean end of the road,check out time ( sorry to be blunt, but I think it needs saying) far from it, it means that they will treat your symptoms as and when they play up. I know someone who knows someone who has 'had it in her bones' for 20 years, someone I do actually know has been palliative for breast/ bone for 9 yrs. A gal I used to work with was given an absolutely awful diagnosis about 5 yr ago, ovarian, bowel,stage 4 &  bone, she retired on 'ILL health' and we all though that was that, BUT , that word again, she was nuked and took some immunotherapy stuff, fast forward 5 yr and she has completed a camper van tour of the US- before Covid ):

You will know from reading this thread that many, even with spread are given 'disease free' status, even when there has been a 'bad picture' at the start.

That is not going to help you today, you are allowed to not be okay- in fact I would say it would be compulsory to NOT be okay. 
Your MDT  will come to you with a treatment plan- just because they can't chop it out, doesn't mean that they can't murder the little f****** another way.

So , I'm not going to say something like 'chin up' etc or be 'strong' OMG what on earth do these things actually mean and look like. Just do what you need to do, cry, scream, shout, whatever for now and see what MDT say for next steps.

Do keep the faith

Hilts

Hi Jae,

I reiterate what others have said on here. Gerrie and Daisy's husband are examples of what can happen. There is also a chap named Dave who has been cancer free for several years after being told it was inoperable. 
 

I definitely agree with Hilts you are allowed to be whatever you feel. Overwhelmed is definitely how we felt. Let your feelings out. Plaudits didn't help me 'you can get run over by a bus! when you feel like The f------ bus is heading towards you! 

Just know we are all here and if you want a rant or just to share what's happening please feel free.

Keeping the faith 

Milly

Thank you all for your kind words but you needn't worry too much about me. I'm currently taking the news as well as can be expected, putting my big boy pants on, and just preparing myself to deal with how others take the news (which is a bigger concern to me than how I do!). 

I've had a good life and whether I have a few more months, a few more years or (putting my fairy tale ending hat on) a few more decades it doesn't matter too much to me. I do worry about my husband though and leaving him alone as we enter middle-age seems truly cruel. So I'll try to hang around for as long as I can and keep smiling whilst I do! :) 

Next up is a meeting with an oncologist to discuss some "light" chemo to help alleviate my symptoms in whatever way it can. 

Oh Jae!

It's at times like this I wish i was more of a philospher with a poetic touch than a lumbering 6'8" giant with size 14 feet.

Those of us on the journey are acutely aware of the reality of what we have and come to terms with it in our own way. 

As others have said - don't hesitate to use us to rant and rave or even joke.  I remember when I did tell somebody that after finding out about my condition that for the first time in the local supermarket, an element of doubt crept into my mind as to whether to buy fully ripe or green bananas.

Everything else has been said by others - so not going to repeat  :-).

bfg

BFG! Yesterday I was more traumatised to discover I'm not 6'8" (203cm) like I'd always claimed but 202cm! I felt like a total fraud. 

Giants united! :) 

Don't even go there Jae - just before my 2nd round of chemo the machine measured my height at 199.5.  I was so outraged they went and found another machine which confirmed it.  Somehow, whether it's the elevated position post-op or just lack of excercise, I've managed to shrink.  I still can bang my head on a door frame though and hoping that when I start excercising and stretching soon, that I get back to my natural height.  I'm still not up there with my 6' 10" brother though.  Can you imagine the 3 of us drinking beer together?

:-0