Hi Folks

Yep, Millie we all know exactly how you feel. Totally agree with bfg, it really does just crack on. They do so very many of them, know exactly what they are doing. 
And they will drag him out of bed the next day , whether he likes it or not (: everyone spends at least 24 hr on ICU, don't go by what you see on TV- nothing like it. My husband biggest complaint was slipping down the bed. They go to icu because of the length of surgery, the complexity and the amount of gadgetry they come out with.. if he is moaning about anything, that is a very good sign......

As for you, distraction all the way, find something to do- like killing weeds with a spade something physical. 
BFG- think - this is the FINAL hurdle- you are then DONE!
okay folks

best wishes

Hilts

Hi Mike and Hilts,

Thank you for your replies which are reassuring. My husband has now had both vaccines which is good. Unless things change I won't be able to visit him but the main thing is that all goes well. Trying to take a day at a time. 

Hilts you made me laugh re weeds. 

All the best

Milly

Hi everyone, my Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer in August 2020. We are a family that live and work in Spain and as you can imagine this news is devastating. I wanted to share our experiences of going through this journey in Spain, with you all. If I can offer any insight or advice of our own experiences and learn from anyone of your experiences, I think this would be very useful.

 My Dad is 62 years old and had a stoke in 2016. He has always ben a very fit and active guy and is a real fighter. Immediately after the daignosis my Dad started 6 rounds of chemotherapy which wasn't a breeze but my Dad managed it reasonably well with manageable side effects.My Dad also opted for an immunotherapy clinical trial that he is now on - we don't know if he was accepted or whether he is taking a placebo, our oncologist here in Spain claims he doesn't know either whether my Dad had been accepted and the oncologist claims this is normal procedure here in Spain.

The oncologist said due to the fact it is stage 4 and had spread to the lymph nodes, operating wasn't an option. My Dad had really struggled swallowing before the chemotherapy started but after a few weeks of the chemotherapy, swallowing improved a lot. Over the last couple of weeks my Dad has started to struggle swallowing again. We are having scans every 6 weeks - the scans have shown a slight reduction in the lymph nodes on 2 occasions and on the other 2 occasions there has ben no change, so we are happy with this.

My Dad has blood test every 3 weeks and scans every 6 weeks. This world of cancer is all new to our family and as i'm sure you'll all agre is so scary and horrible. 

Also my Dad had covid in February whilst having chemotherapy and was kept in hospital for 4 days and they found he also had pnumonia on one lung. My Dad has recovered well from the covid but still has some symptoms.

Please feel free to reply, ask me questions and share any relevant information.

Lee

I seem to be saying this an awful lot recently 

Welcome to our 'oesophageal cancer club' .All of us on her being fellow travellers on that crazy rollercoaster ride that is diagnosis. We have got really good at finding each other.

Lee- your Dad is another 'Young'un'.  He sounds like he is getting really good treatment. There are a few stage fours about on here. One that is 7 yrs down the road with his palliative treatment. They never operate unless you are as fit as Mr Universe LOL. 

Great stuff that your Dad is on an immunotherapy trial. Brill.  My husband is now on the Aspirin trial. The old placebo thing drives us mad! Like Russian roulette. With clinical trials, I don't think any of the medics are ever told who is on what med or placebo. The only people that would be aware are the people who are in charge of the trial and that will be a closely guarded 'need to know' basis. If word got out on any research trial, that would completely invalidate the results. Is it the proverbial guinea pig- yes, but participants  go through a pretty thorough consent process and are fully aware of what they are being asked to do.

I think everyone on here saw a massive improvement in swallow after a few blasts of chemo.  Are they going to blast your dad some more?
 

Now the emotional side of it ,OMG where on earth do you start with that one. Have a look through my old posts and on this trail. All I can say is dramatic and intense.

Millie - glad to make you smile, d'ya know, if you can't laugh what can you do eh!
get slashing them weeds, you'll be known locally as ' The slasher'.

keep going folks

Hilts

Hi Hilts - thanks for your reply.

At the moment the oncologist is saying we should just stay on the immunotherapy/placebo and see what happens through regular blood tests and scans. He did say that a second course of chemotherapy would be an option if things got worse. 

Lee

Hi lee

Sounds  like a cracking plan. He seems to be very well looked after.

Sometimes I think it is worse for the onlookers ( family/ friends). My husband , aged 56, diagnosed out of the blue late July last year.has got through it in very 'brave' mode. Like everyone on here, just plodding on as best we can.

SomethingI've told myself since the start is 'it's cancer, a treatable and manageable condition in a lot of cases, it could have been a whole lot worse, diagnosed with some hideous condition that is always fatal and has no treatment whatsoever ever' , the good old 'bus' could have run him over etc.

I look at him and think wtf just happened, it almost doesn't even now seem real.

Anyhows , keep us updated

best wishes

hilts

Thanks Hilts, we just keep trying to educate ourselves as much as possible and remain open to all options.  We'll try every option and remain positive.  We say 'we have cancer,  but cancer doesn't have us'. 

It's very comforting having contact with people in similar situations. 

Good luck. 

Lee 

Hi Lee,

It sounds like all options are being given to your dad. My husband was 62 when diagnosed and even now it still seems unbelievable. Everyone is unique but it's good to be in contact with others who are going through this difficult situation. I have used the Macmillan nurses support line which I found useful. Also there should be support via the NHS. 

Hilts thanks - I'm pretty anxious right now. We've been on lots of walks last week and stomped on a few weeds!

Milly

Hi Hilts,

Thank you and yes dreams are strange. The ironic thing for us is since losing my mum when I was twenty four, our third son when I was thirty and mum in law when I was 31 we have had the attitude of 'do what you can while you can'. Hence the reason why my husband took early retirement and I finished my permanent job and started doing supply work. My biggest fear was knowing life is fragile and that if we didn't take the chance it may be gone. We have managed to tick some things off our 'bucket list' and your outcome gives me hope that we will again get on a train, drive, go on adventures again. We should have done a road trip around Europe in 2020 but we all know what happened there. A road trip around anywhere sounds wonderful. Just got to get through this stage and hope all goes to plan. Family and friends are so important and making memories whatever they are big and small are what leaves our legacy. Live, laugh and love. Hanging on in there.

Keeping the faith.

Milly