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Advice/thoughts on looking after granddaughter

Linwin
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I'm in a quandary with this one. For the whole of lockdown I was undergoing chemo for breast cancer and didn't see my 8 year old granddaughter for over 4 months.  This had a really detrimental effect on my mental health,but we got through with regular FaceTime cats.  I finished chemo on 30 June, followed by left mastectomy on 4 August, from which I have recovered well.  All margins clear, phew!  I start radiotherapy on Monday, 15 sessions.

My dilemma is, can I resume having my granddaughter after school on one day a week.  She understands we still can't hug, which in itself is difficult. I have been to the supermarket, but I am wearing a mask, washing hands and doing my best at social distancing. Really would appreciate your thoughts.

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    Hi there ...

    I've had breast cancer, while my then 5 year old granddaughter was my world ... 

    I don't know what I'd have done without her in those following months ... she was why I fought so hard .. she is my best buddy ... 

    Those 5 months on lockdown where agony ... not for anything else ... that I could cope with, but not seeing the grandkids that was unbearable ... if  lockdown comes back again, i really dont think id manage ... so i csn only say personaly ... i would add up both sides and would still take a chance seeing her ... theres lots you can do ... watch t.v ... play cards ... cook at a distance ... and although that's me,  you must weigh things up ... and talk to your daughter / son ... and only you must do what you feel o.k with ... you know cancer is crule ... but covid is deff it's friend ... both causing havoc and heartache .. 

    Fingers crossed your kick cancers butt soon .. and get that much needed grandchild huggle we all love ...  Chrissie x

     

  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    Hi 

    this is tough. What do your bloods look like. Is your immune system looking more normal!  You in good health the cancer and treatment aside. There's lot to way up. 
    your still in early days but we have to have a balance though. 
     

    I didn't see my grand children all through lockdown as shielding and so kept in contact through FaceTime. One was  nearly 2 and the other 6mths at the time. Engaging babies on the iPad is hard but it worked. They new who we were when they saw us in the flesh.  
     

    I would set up a FaceTime with your grand daughter if you have the devices. (You mentioned it in your post)

    It's reliable but they're other platforms too. 
    you could help her with homework. Chat over her day. Play guessing games, read stories with her. Watch her favourite tv program with her. The list goes on. You could meet up for walks and hold her hands to have the touching without the cuddle. Call it a hand cuddle. 
    you can maintain a loving relationship with your granddaughter whilst giving yourself time to heal. Remember returning to school brings home the dreaded colds. (I know I have mine) 

    you could invent a special, just for you and her sign to say I love you cuddle, but mime it whilst telling her on FT. 
    she would love that I am sure. Also don't under estimate the power of a letter with a little story, poem perhaps or a drawing for her through the post. Then she could reply with her own letter. 
    I hope these ideas help while you get stronger in your health. I do understand how painful the separation is. But if you get ill you will prolong the time away from each other. 
    good luck and best wishes. 

     

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    Thank you Lorraine.  I think while I'm undergoing radiotherapy I will limit our contact to outdoors, I don't want anything to stop my final round of treatment, and it is only for 3 weeks.

  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    Thank you Chrissie.  I know what you mean about fighting the battle for them.  She really kept me going through lockdown chemo, with our daily FaceTime chats.  I've decided to limit our contact through my radiotherapy, it's only 3 weeks, and we can FaceTime.

  • Offline in reply to Boadicea

    Thank you for your thoughts.  My bloods are normal as is my immune system.  I didn't see her through lockdown but we FaceTimed every day.  Aside from our chats she used to do her reading to me, which all kept me going through lockdown Chemo.

    My radiotherapy starts on Monday, 15 sessions, so I have decided to limit our contact to outdoors and FaceTime.  It's only 3 weeks, and this is my last treatment regime.  Can re-assess when that's all done.

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