Hi there ...

So sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... loosing a parent is I think the second hardest thing we do in life...

Well there's no "normal" to grief ... we all grieve differently.... it takes time to adjust ... you need to feel these feelings .. and yes anger is pretty normal, as most of us feel angry at some point ... angry they left us when we need them ... angry at the crule cancer .. so yes your pain is just a way of knowing how much you miss him ...

But one thing you need to remember, is your mum lost him too .. she's probly trying to be strong for you, when inside she's hurting too .. you can both grieve separately, or you can hold each other's hand and take baby steps forward , one day at a time .. it's o.k to cry or feel angry or cuss at the world .. but try not to take those feeling out on your mum ... you need each other now... be gentle to each other ...

Life is crule ... but most on here have lost someone they love ... I myself have cancer ... and my granddaughter is battling acute myeloid leukaemia... she's 18 ... so I know too well how crule it can be .. 

Time is the only healer ... but know your not alone ... sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie x

Dear Roo

I just wanted to say I know exactly how you are feeling.  I lost my very precious mum in Feb this year too.  She had ovarian cancer and had just celebrated her 76th birthday.  She was the one I went to with any anxieties or problems and now I don't have that shoulder to cry on anymore. And boy am I still crying.  It's made worse as exactly 8 weeks after her passing, my 23 year old son took his first overdose. Repeated again 6 weeks after that.  Mum would have been devastated but also our rock. I cannot go a few hours without thinking about mum. Do you try and remember good memories. One day I think you may share these memories with your mum. But maybe not for a while. Normality seems a very long way away doesn't it. But I really hope we get there x