Hi Viv

Iam so sorry to hear your devastating news it's such an horrendous time. I can't help with treatment advice but i didnt want to read and run. It's really positive that there are treatment options and avenues to go down. Do you have family or friends you can lean on? Mcmillan are amazing, dont panic thinking they're only involved when there is nothing else that can be done for someone they help many people live a full life managing their symptoms or can help with non medical aspects of the diagnosis too.

Take care Viv xxxx

Thank you so much for your lovely, kind words. 
I do have support, husband and two grown up daughters 22 and 20 who are home with me right now. It is so hard to see their pain though and for their lives to have 'stopped' as mine has. 
I also have good friends but am unable to talk to them right now, I just find it too hard to think of answering their questions, dealing with their sadness. I am a nurse so most of my friends are nurses/doctors, I feel they want to know too much. I do know they will be a great support when I'm ready. 
Macmillan sounds a good idea, my husband has suggested I try talking to them too. 
Thankfully I have heard no surgery needed, will be uregent radiotherapy, being seen tomorrow and to start treatment with oncologist too. 
 

Thank you again for stopping and commenting, it feels nice to talk xxx

Hi Viv,

like the person who also responded to you I have no real advice regarding treatment or your situation. I had breast cancer and completed treatment at the end of February. Now taking hormone treatment. 
 

What I do know though is all this is very scary and cuts through our very being. I too was fit healthy and happy. Then suddenly the rug was pulled from under my  feet and I was left hanging not knowing what's going to happen. 
 

I just wanted to say lean on the nurses. They are outstanding and nothing is too crazy or mad to say out loud. Don't hold back. We need to release our fear and anger. 
 

This site has also helped me vent at times. I have felt such support from people all of who are in a similar situation. Not exactly the same of course but they know that word cancer. Know the fear it instils and know they are not alone. 
 

This is very new. Hold on. Share with those you feel you can. I found it helped me. It also helped me to cry. I felt stronger for it. Once a medical plan is before you that also helps. Gives you something to aim for. 
 

I will think of you and of course wish you well on this toughest of roads. 
 

Kebbs x 

Hi Viv,

It seems like your oncologist isn't wasting any time getting you started on some treatment which is really positive news. You said yourself - you feel fit and well. Sounds like you have plenty left in the tank for the fight. 
Don't hesitate to get in touch with Macmillan. I chatted to them on the phone in my darkest hours. 
I was so grateful that I found the YOU, ME & THE BIG C podcast. After listening to the first episode of this I felt positive and much less terrified. The mental battle is probably the hardest.

Stay strong. 
 

Jo 

Im so pleased you that you have support. Your hubby and Daughters can also get support on here or through the Mcmillan too.

I know you worry for them and feel sad for them but be kind to yourself & focus on you & your treatment for now that will take all your energy and im sure that is what your family want you to focus on too right now. Keeping it yo yourself for now is also fine as like you say you have to be able to cope with their reactions & although most people mean well they can say cliche comments that aren't beneficial.

Hope your treatment goes well, sending a big virtual hug over to you

Xx

Hi Guineapigmum, 

Firstly I am so sorry to hear that you have this diagnosis and understand exactly how you are feeling right now, the fear, the sadness, the shock is overwhelming. I couldn't sleep, eat, talk to anyone, I just cried and cried. 
It took me right back reading my post which I wrote 4 months ago when I felt so desperate but I want to give you some hope. 
I am now 4 months into treatment, targeted hormone therapy and a drug called Ribociclib. I feel well, have minimal side effects from the treatment and my first scans since starting treatment last week  showed reduction in breast tumour and healing to bones. 
I know it seems impossible now but you will find joy in life again, you will smile and laugh and I think once you have a treatment plan you start to feel a little better, I found that anyway. What I learned very quickly is that there are many women and men living relatively normal lives and some for many years with this diagnosis. My oncologist told me that too and that's how I get up every morning. I won't pretend I don't still have bad days because I do, it's still relatively early for me  too in all this and the thing I find hardest to accept is the uncertainty of the future. 
I decided in the beginning to control what I could, so for me that was making some dietary changes but basically putting a lot of good stuff inside me and exercising, just walking every day. I want to be as healthy as possible to cope as well as I can with any treatment I may need. I will take everything medicine has to throw at me, I ask loads of questions so I can understand it all. 
Be gentle on yourself, take each day at a time and allow yourself time to process it all, this is so much to take in. 
Your treatment will depend on the type of breast cancer you have, mine is estrogen and progesterone positive and her 2 negative. It really does help when you know the plan. 
I have a supportive family and friends but still find it hard to talk to them about some of the things I worry about as I hate to cause them any more sadness. I found a charity called Maggies fantastic, I dropped in on a bad day and they were brilliant. I can just phone if I'm having a bad day and someone will always listen. They have branches all over the UK. 
I hope this may have helped just a little to give you some hope at this awful time. If you wanted to chat more about anything you can always privately message me on here. 
Will be thinking of you and sending much love xx

Hi Viv, thank you so much for this. I can't tell you how much this has helped me, thank goodness I found you. I think that I'm still deeply in shock, going from feeling absolutely fine in my happy little world to stage 4 cancer in such a short time has blown my mind!! It's so good to hear that you're sound so well and that you have minimal side effects. Bless you, you've given me my hope back. My cancer is the same, estrogen positive, her negative and the oncologist has emailed me a load of information about hormone therapies to read over the weekend before I see him on Monday. 
Im trying to be kind to myself and take each day as it comes but my mind keeps racing ahead and I keep looking at my beautiful girls and my heart breaks that they have to cope with this too. I know what you mean about telling friends too, I used to be a nurse before I had my children and I've found I can't tell a lot of my friends because I feel like they know too much and want every detail and I'm not strong enough for the questions yet. I work in a special school now and have told my friends there, they are the most wonderful, positive and kind people and they've given me so much loving, practical support with no questions!! Perfect!!!

I am so glad to have found you to talk to, thank you. If you'd like to private message that would be lovely, (I'm not sure how to do it! ) I think we might be able to support each other and I do love a chat! 
 Take care, ness x

Hi Ness, 

I am so glad my message has helped a little. 

I've sent you a friend request on here so once you accept it we can privately message if you would like to. 
What a coincidence, I worked as a nurse until 18 months ago, I left the NHS to work full-time for our business ( not expecting to be back on the other side so soon!)  and most of my friends are nurses/doctors, I literally felt the same, they mean well, but ask too many questions you're not ready to answer. When I had my treatment plan and started to feel positive I did text friends and say to them that I was facing this feeling positive, so no more questions, sadness, just positivity and hope. Most people have respected that but I did find people starting to ask when my first scans were, I kept saying I didn't know then didn't tell anyone I'd had them apart from my husband. I then shared the results which were good with who I wanted to when I was ready. 
You really do have to look after yourself with this diagnosis, so do exactly as you feel each day, good friends will understand and those that don't won't stand the test of this.  Read the treatment info when you're ready then put it to one side until Monday. 
I know each day at the moment feels like a week and it is impossible to switch off from it all but Monday will come and I hope your oncologist sets out your treatment plan and you start to feel hope. 
I will be thinking of you

Viv xxx

Hello

New diagnosis that is still being staged, Er+,HER-.

I am supporting my mum with her 'de novo' diagnosis. It is stage 3 but we have to wait 2 wks to confirm if the sites found in uterus, lung and along spine is the cancer. Most likely one of them will be so thats the surgery plan out the window. Can mum still be treated with radiotherapy?? in the breast at least.

All you ladies are great for sharing on a topic so unnerving. I need to learn to cope. Keep on going ..our battle hasn't even begun

lots of well wishes

Sad