HOW HAVING DIFFERENT GOALS HELPED ME TO COPE WITH CHEMOTHERAPY
Back to 1 year ago ... Mastectomy happened very fast, just 2 weeks after my grade 3 breast cancer diagnosis in May 2019. A shock and fear exploded just before the surgery as the realisation came up.
Everyone was asking me to stay positive in my cancer battle but for me, it was an overwhelming period. Especially knowing that straight after mastectomy and breast reconstruction, I will start chemotherapy for 6 long months, then another operation of all lymph nodes clearance in one side, followed by radiotherapy. My oncologist informed me that I will have to be on Herceptin and Perjeta antibodies targeted therapy treatment for a year thereafter, when I come back from radiotherapy. So he had a plan and presented it to me so that I was aware that my treatment will take at least a year and a half.
From the other hand, he asked me not to think about the whole therapy but taking this intense treatment step by step. This way of thinking helped me to survive the whole year: 2 operations, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and now to continue my targeted antibodies therapy.
I didn’t even have time to process in my head then, what is going on with me as my emotional state was shattered. I thought how can I be positive if I do not know even whether my treatment will work?
The only way to keep me positive during chemotherapy (that was worse in side effects than my 2 operations!), was to focus on something to make my brain busy with things.
The whole cancer experience, from reflection now, involves different focuses and passions that I have had throughout.
My first focus was searching for gorillas (not real ones though!), in our island in the extraordinary event to celebrate 60 years anniversary of the Jersey Zoo last year. Beautiful, brightly coloured, artist imagined 80 life size gorillas sculptures were situated in different parts of Jersey for people to search, enjoy and be remembered, leading people on a trail to discover not only the beauty of gorillas sculptures but also to explore the nature of places.
Going by car across the island with my husband as a driver, was my focus for about 1.5 month to search and find gorillas, whenever only I felt a little bit better between my chemo treatments. It was a hard task especially in the period of beginning of chemotherapy. I could not drive myself because of side effects and physically it was a huge adventure on my body. But this was a good adventure and from hind site, I would recommend to everyone who is under such treatment to being outdoors as it is key to managing side effects better. Having a routine, waking up and walking my dog in the morning gave me needed energy for the start of the day. Also having a sense of a goal each day, allowed me not to think too much about cancer and to stay positive because walking and being outdoors helped me to manage the period of chemotherapy treatment.
I would recommend walking especially, sightseeing by a car and short walks, to every chemo patient as recovering seems to be more manageable. If we try to control cancer treatment, not vice versa, that is a good way to cope with significant and hard side effects in a better way.
I will commit in describing my other busy tasks and activities during my cancer fight in the last 13 months in my other stories that, I hope, might be of interest as tips for others who are going through the same experience like me. Of course I am not even near to who I was and what I could do before cancer diagnosis but I am starting this stage when realisation comes to accepting my “new me” slowly and learn of new abilities and limitations. I think it is important to recognise this moment when it happens so that you are not in a constant grief.
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