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I cant come to terms with losing my lovley wife

darryl2468
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Hi   I lost my wife on the 4th April 2020 . It went from a blood test to you need a hestorectory , then after we thought that was over I was told why she was recovering icu they found a tumor in her ovaries and had removed it . if that wasn't a bad enough shock worse was to come . The following morning on Saturday I can't from a surgeon explaining he was part of the team that carried out the operation and he found out as I haven't been told your wife has terminal cancer .i meet with the consultant on the following Tuesday and he said the surgeon should not have said that as he couldn't possibly have known without biopsy tests . Then nothing happened in December and on 4 January we were told my wife has bowl cancer and it's moved to her overis. After a twelve week wait the consultant started her on program of ten chemotherapy she only had one in March then within two weeks she was dead died of seppiss. The pain is unbearable I cry day and night I don't care about nothing. People say nice things to you but they mean nothing. I was married to this lovey caring women for forty years and then nothing all snatched away from me . The pain is made worse by the hospital won't tell me what happened in them last three hours as I wasn't allowed in because of corona virus iv got wait till July for face to face metting . The pain is unbearable it will never leave me . Darryl2468 

  • Offline in reply to darryl2468

    I know with in the space of a few days being happy just plodding along I felt as though my heart had been ripped out, still find it hard now to get my head around it all, and to see her changes through the chemo/cancer is awful yet she still smiles and laughs, 4 people through cancer that's horrific I'm so sorry for you and your family I really am, thank you Darryl x I will hug her later stay safe x hear if you need a chat x

  • Offline in reply to Smth

    Yes it will be the most herendous thing your family will go through . I saw my sister most day and she had terrible time with her chemotherapy phone calls in the nite crying etc all you can do is be there for her . I really do feel so sorry for her even though I don't know I hate the word cancer . I lost my wife on 4 April and my mum on the 5 April I cry every day I never come to terms with it . I know every one says it but trybe strong as a family but especially try be strong for your sister because there can't be anything worse in the world being told that you have terminal cancer       Darryl x

  • Offline in reply to darryl2468

    Hi Darryl

    Sorry for the delay, just read your latest and cant believe how you and your wife were treated. As Ceyenne said, neutrapena was something you are told about at time of taking chemo and they give you a card with info on.  I was told to check my temp every day, in the end i only tested it when i though i felt unwell and before i took paracetomol. Thing is you dont know you are neutrapenic as some things can disguise it.

    I'm sorry you are lost more close family recently, just doesn't seem fair at times, especially now with covid hanging over us. It affects us all more than we realise.

    I'm glad to hear you have your son and daughter for support, hope you are doing ok this weekend and remembering the fond times together. 

    Hugs

    xx

  • Offline in reply to Smth

    Hi Smth

    I'm sorry to hear about your sisters diagnosis.  Really tough now going through chemo and family being apart with covid.  Look after yourselves and give your sister a big hug at every oppurtunity as i'm sure you do :)

    Thinking of you.

    Hugs

    xx

  • Offline in reply to Mich8

    Hi mich8                                                                               Thanks for your reply i now have a date for meeting with a&e 22 June via zoom I will post the outcome . I've spoken to her consultant who told me he never tells any patient to check there temperature he said if they feel unwell they should go to hospital I didn't agree with that but nothing I can do I did ask why she never got a 5 minute health call from anyone after her first chemotherapy ie McMillan or anyone he said you only get. assigned a nurse if your terminal. so I now have to wait til 22 June the pain and torment go on day and night no one could ever understand until you going through it        Darryl x 

  • Offline in reply to darryl2468

    Hi Darryl

    I'm glad to hear you have a meeting now scheduled, I know not ideal with the wait but hope they can give you some answers and explanations to their decisions, which in m eyes too do not seem correct. 

    I hope you are managing ok and looking after yourself. 

    Best wishes & hugs at this difficult time.

    xx

  • Offline in reply to Mich8

    Hi Daryl,

     

    Thought I would touchbase and see how you are doing and if you have had any results from the hospital. 

     

    Its a really difficult time you are going through, hope you are managing ok and getting the support you need from your family. 

     

    Hugs xx

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