Thank you firstly for allowing me to join & post in this forum.
So I'm in a new relationship with a man I met out locally. We hit it off and we're soon chatting about ex relationships & what we were both looking for. This advanced to phone calls due to lockdown & the fact he works away. We spoke every single night for upto 6 hours, I never got on with someone so well, we have the same sense of humour, values & morals. Our children are the same age. We discussed at length what our dreams and aspirations were and realised they're the same. I've been on my own 8 years and have a lot of guards up but he gently broke them down and I realised how much I was allowing myself be open to being loved & loving someone again.
Two weeks ago my uncle suddenly passed away. Not from corona but heart failure. It was a huge shock & I was hysterical. Right at that point he text me so I rang him and offloaded. He told me afterward that he really was happy I felt I could do that as he felt closer to me. We both agreed that lockdown was making us get closer together somehow & given our ages 38 and 44 we would be happy to get out of it all and finally be free to have some lovely dates. We said we would be a couple now though.
The same night my uncle died his mother was rushed into hospital. After many tests she was confirmed with advanced cancer last week. He rang me to tell me & was obviously distressed. I was heart broken for him they are extremely close & he adores her. He started saying things like "what if she never meets you" "and if we had a baby she wouldn't meet it" I know this sounds deep but like I've said we were on such the same page & wanted the same things. My motto especially due to the current climate was grab life by both hands.
He has since gone really distant and although it's hard, I do understand why. He is trying to come to terms with what he's found out and his entire world has just crashed in on him. I've messaged to tell him I'm there for him and I cannot imagine what he's going through but I will be there when he's ready. He has said a couple of times sorry for pushing me away that he just needs to focus on his mum for now. I guess what I'm asking is have I done the right thing? I am giving him the space to try and deal with this. He's told me many times he can't cope at all. I'm so upset for him and just at a loss as to what else I can do. The last thing I would ever want to do is appear needy or pester him. All I can really do is be there for when he's ready am I right ?
