Hi there ..

Well your dad's a real trooper ... he's done amazing up till now ... 

I was in my 30s when I lost both my parents ... and yes it's not fare, we want them longer , but it's part of the circle of life ... my young niece and nephew lost their dad, when his lass was 10 months and his son 3 ... they will never have those memories to keep like we have ... 

Your dad, helped you learn to walk, watched you go to school ... watched you turn from a boy to a man .. he held your hand while you were young ... now its time to hold his hand .. he will need you to help him now .. make every day count .. build a lifetime of memories into the time you are given ..

My mum died suddenly from a heart attack and I had no chance to even tell her I was so proud to be her daughter.... she was fine one Monday morning and at 5.20 that afternoon she was gone ..

You have that chance I never had .. live in the day ... don't look ahead .. and take each problem as and when it comes up... if you hold his hand and let him lead the way, with your support, you'll look back and be proud of what you did, even though your heart is breaking ... 

Sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie x

Hi, I'm so very sorry to hear about your Dad. Cancer is such a vile, cruel disease, it sneaks up on you often without symptoms.  Your Dad has done amazing and clearly a real fighter. Sadly, nothing can prepare you for the hurt and despair you will feel in the next coming weeks/months. The feeling of wanting to run away is how I felt and I often feel like that now. 

I lost my amazing, precious mum in January of this year. She had also fought it twice before but when we were told it was back and that nothing could be done was the most devastating day of my life.  We had just 3 short weeks with her and I grieved continuously  throughout this time.

My advice to you is spend as much time as you can with your Dad and family. Talk over your memories and let your Dad know how much he means to you. Be with your Mum and family and just be together as much as possible. This time is precious and the memories will be with you forever. Don't be afraid to show your emotions and I hope you are able to find comfort by talking to your Mum and family.
 

Your Dad is still so young, it's just so senseless and cruel. My guess is you must all be terrified of what's coming and your Dad is probably very scared. Encourage him to talk about his feelings and reasssure him you will be there no matter what and he won't be alone.

Ask the palliative team to prepare you for the final stages of your Dads life, especially if you are planning on being with him at the end. Ask the team to reassess him regularly and don't be afraid of the syringe driver, I regret not talking to my mum about when the driver should be strarted, she was so aware at the end and terrified of what was happening. 

My heart goes out to you and your family.

Nicola x

Thanks for your words ️

Nicola65 thank you! Your advice has been so touching I will remember about the syringe.  You have made me feel a bit better. I just worry about so much as it's out of my hands!

He's my dad, the first man I ever loved and he's so brave and strong.

Thank you

Hi, I'm glad I have helped you in some way. There are a lot of helpful people on this forum, and can give you good advice.

I completely understand how you feel. My mum was my best friend, soulmate and rock. She gave me so much support throughout my life and I think about her constantly. I miss her so much. 
 

Take each day as it comes and somehow you will find the strength to cope. The hospice ran a course that prepared you for the final stages and what to expect. I wanted to attend that but as I say there was no time as my mum didn't have very long after rediagnosis. I realise the pandemic won't allow that at present but it may be helpful to you in the future. 

Wishing you and your family all the best x

Thank you Nicola, 

It must still be so hard for you. I just trying to imagine that in its all going to end...that wonderful person no longer in our lives. I just can't comprehend it.

Yoh really have helped me. I'm going to start a playlist and make it up with all my dad's favourite songs and I'm going to give it to him. I know that might sound silly but we have a great bond with music and it was a great part of my childhood with him.

I hope you are finding time to look after yourself aswell xxx

The playlist sounds a great idea and I hope you and your Dad both get a lot of comfort from this. This time is so precious and your way of making special memories.

I'm ok thank you, very lucky to have a great family.

Best wishes, Nicola.

Take care Nicola x