Hi Nikki,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm sorry to read about your worries - it's naturally unsettling when there is this uncertainty and of course the current situation we're in at the moment makes this all the more difficult.

I would try not to assume anything one way or the other, or read too much into what it means to have a phone appointment vs. in-person. Whichever ends up happening, use it as an opportunity to ask any questions you have and to find out as much as possible - also making any notes as appropriate.

Try to avoid Googling things as this is rarely helpful, and the information is often irrelevant or outdated.

It's a bit cliched but take things one day at a time and try to keep your mind off it as much as possible. And I hope it's not too much longer to wait to find out more.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

Thank you for your reply Ben. 3 more days to wait. 

Hi Nikki,

Welcome to our forum, although I'm sorry to hear why you've joined us. I expect that you will get a further call from the hospital telling you whether or not you can take someone with you to your appointment. If you can, it is certainly worth bringing someone with you.

I agree that the waiting is horrendous. Most of us consider this one of the worst parts of the cancer journey. I would advise you to stop Googling, as much of the information is incorrect, out of date, poorly researched and aims at the most spectacular cases. This just terrifies you more.

Do please let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

I shall be thinking of you on 30th April and hope that your results are better than you're expecting.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you for your reply Jolamine. Yes i know googling is the absolute worst thing to do I just feel like I need to know what I am walking into on Thursday. I know this is ridiculous as obviously I won't know till I go. Yes i can take someone with me so my mum is going to come thanks. This virus just makes everything a touch more scary doesn't it. I just want the next 2 days to hurry up so I know for sure what I am dealing with.

Thanks again for listening. Friends and family are so positive but as I only live at home with my 12 year old daughter I'm trying to only communicate by text as I don't want her to know my worries. I just want to speak to someone and have a reassuring hug but that can't happen at the moment :(

Hi Nikki,

I am delighted to hear that you are taking your mum with you. If it does prove to be a positive outcome, you will remember very little of the conversation you have with your consultant. Waiting for results is always scary, but this pandemic just makes it all feel worse.

You will begin to feel better once you get a diagnosis, irrespective of whether the news is good or bad, as you will start to move on. It must be very difficult for you to keep this all away from your daughter at the moment.

If you do get a positive diagnosis it is well worth letting your daughter know. Children have a sixth sense when there is anything amiss. They also have big ears and, you won't want her overhearing anything. It is better to give her a simple and positive rendition of what is going on.The more positive you can be about the outcome, the better she will take your news. It is however better to wait until you know exactly what is planned before you break the news to her.

Hospitals usually have various leaflets about cancer and there is a useful booklet called 'Talking with  your children about breast cancer'. This is produced by Breast Cancer care. Ask your breast care nurse about it, as you might find this useful.

I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer within the past 10 years. The first time I visited the breast care clinic, my consultant told me that he was pretty sure that I had cancer. I had the usual mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy and he was proved right the following week. I can well remember just how worrying that week of waiting was, so I understand how scared you feel. I am always here if you want to talk. Please let me know how you get on on Thursday.

I shall be keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you for your kind words Jolamine. So sorry to hear that you have had breast cancer twice. You must be an incredibly strong woman! Yes i agree about my daughter. She knows I have had a painful breast and went to the hospital  (I was worried if we were play fighting as we sometimes do that she may knock it by accident after the biopsy as I was in quite a bit of pain for about a week). She asked lots of questions. Probably because my cousin had breast cancer at aged 35 and we helped out quite a lot so she saw her going through chemo and losing her hair. I don't want her to worry so have kept it very basic but if I do get bad news then I will explain to her as we are very close so I want to be open with her. 2 more sleeps. I am on a constant countdown :( it feels never ending and I need to know either way now. I'll let you know how Thursday goes. Thank you for your kind thoughts I really do appreciate having someone to talk to who knows how I am feeling x

Hi Nikki,

I shall be thinking of you on Thursday and hoping for the best.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine,

I wanted to update you on my results. They think it is a phyllodes tumour but I need it removed for further testing. I understand these are mostly benign but tests would confirm the type. Due to covid I need to wait 2-3 months for this surgery but the doc is confident this isn't an issue. If it gets any bigger I need to inform them. There was only one other woman in the waiting room so I was extremely nervous that it was going to bad news. It was a relief when he explained what it is. So some more waiting for surgery but I am feeling much much calmer. Thank you so much for your kind words it really means a lot. I hope you are well x