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32 with Colon Cancer. Starting Chemo in 3 days!!!

Dannysamui
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Hi all. So Iv been reading a lot of forum posts on here and decided it's time to join. I'm not usually one to join forums and talk about my problems but I'm now starting to really worry about my chemo and what to expect. 

Also having read a lot of posts on here the whole site seems to be really supportive so I'm hoping it can help me get through the next 6 months.

so a little background info on myself...

My mum died of cancer at the age of 42 when I was 21 years old. I watched her die and took care of her at home throughout her short 6 weeks from diagnosis to the time she died. I'm an only child and never new my dad so my mum was everything to me. It was a hard time to see somebody you love so much become so week and so much in pain. It affected me majorly and to this day I have regular nightmares about it all.

my uncle also died of cancer and my other uncle has had it and survived through it. They all have lynch syndrome and I always new the chances of me having it were high.

I suppose I always just thought at 32 years of age I was too young to get it. Always put off the screening once of them things where it's always tomorrow tomorrow that kind of thing. I just assumed it would be in my 40s like the rest of my family and not this young.

So... about 5 weeks ago I found blood in my stools. I had been having constipation a while but was taking a lot of anti inflammatory drugs at the time due to something unrelated and just believed it was due to that.

when I noticed the blood I went to the hospital the next day. That was about 5 weeks ago. I was given a colonoscopy and told I had rectal cancer but so high up they were classing it's as colon cancer. 
 

I broke down. All I could see was images of my mum and that night while waiting for my CT scan the following day I was sure I was heading in the same direction as my mum. All I kept thinking is that I was going to die the way she did. I event started to google euphenasia for countries where I could get it. 
 

im not an over dramatic person at all but after seeing how bad my mum got I really was not going to go like that.

so my CT scan showed a tumor and I went to see the consultant. I was then booked in straight away for surgery. About 4 weeks ago they removed the part of my rectum/colon where the tumor was.

The operation went as planned and they also removed 58 lymph nodes of which 2 had cancer cells. 

I was then sent for a Pet scan and it showed no sign at all of any cancer cells in my body.

this of course was great news and I have to say the hospital the doctors nurses have all been fantastic. 

I am now booked in for 6 months of Chemo which will start this Wednesday. I am so nervous. You read online and it's just so mixed. 

I run my own business and have a super supportive Aunty and cousin who have moved in with me.

The corona virus has of course made me even more nervous because I no that if I was to catch that I would be in big trouble. So me and my family are isolating. I work from home so have been able to do so easily. It's just getting me down not being able to go out and do anything but I think this is the safest approach.

Chemo... so I suppose the main things I'm most worried about is how I will feel after the chemo.

its the unknown that scares me the most. I'm trying to think the worst and hope it's not as bad as I think.

but if anyone can share their experiences then I would be most great full. 

I had two choices of chemo. One was to stay in hospital 3 days every 2 weeks and the other was to do half a day in hospital and then 2 weeks on tablets and do that every 3 weeks.

i wanted to do the 3 days in hospital but due to the coronavirus I have decided to go the other route.

i suppose I am really nervous if I have mad the right choice because of hand and foot problems you can get from the tablets.

im so scared of the side affects. I'm really scared about losing my hair pains in my feet and hands. Nausea. I'm quite skinny anyway so very worried about trying to maintain my weight. I'm sacred about how sick I will get and how sick I will look.

im worried hugely about the neuropathy. 

there is just so much going on in my head right now.

im reading so much online about how to prevent side affects and what to expect but it's just so much mixed information.

im hoping that by joining this forum and speaking with other people in similar positions that I can get through this 6 months and hopefully help others do the same.

Any advice people have or any support people can give me and I can share in return is greatly appreciated.

not sure what else to say I kind of feel bad asking for advice before sharing anything of my own.

i just didn't no where to go for real advice from people who have gone or are going through it and I hope I find that here.

thank you in advance to all.
 

 

  • Offline

    Hello,,

              l went through the same regime you are about to embark upon,and had 6 rounds over 18 weeks.l am pretty resilient and can work through most things,but have a really bad intolerance of foreign bodies and drugs.The chemo wacked me out and l was really tired,but l had come through bowel and liver surgery.By the time l got to round five my feet and hands were really painful,but having come that far and realising that the cancer had already spread,l finished the course.My hands have recovered but are intolerant of the cold,l have neuropathy of the feet,which is now just another piece of baggage collected in a life that continues to be lived to the full.To be fair l attended my chemo sessions with several others,all of which would have swapped their outcomes with that of mine in a heartbeat.It is unrealistic to expect to go through a journey like this and emerge unscathed,and in the end you continue to do what you have in every other circumstance of difficulty, adjust.The feet do get tired but you just get on with it and tend not to notice when you are focusing on other things,and your control centre eventually gives up telling you in exasperation of your paying no heed whatsoever.l only really notice when l stop and lay down in bed,and l have 30 mins of winding them down. Yes l would have preferred not to have had this,but when you consider the alternatives,its a small price to pay,with most people only suffering temporary symptoms

                                                                                               Personally l fail to see the point of worrying about something that might or might not occur,when you realistically have no chance of changing the outcome,other than doing more damage to yourself by stress and anxiety interfering with all the intended benefits of the treatment

      You have reached the stage where you have beaten this monster down,go ahead and cut the ground from under it so it can never finish its intended aim on your destruction,and grasp the victory of a second chance of life by never looking back or having doubts

                                      good luck,stay safe and embrace the price paid for your future,

                                                                                                                                               David

  • Offline in reply to gruntifen

    Thank you. Your totally right. It's simply the unknown that worries me. Also wondering if I will still be able to work or not. 

    As you say there is no point in worrying about something I can't change and I will deal with what ever road is ahead.

    So great you got through the entire course of treatment and all the best.
     

     

  • Offline in reply to Dannysamui

    Hello,

               since you work from home you will still be able to carry on,which is excellent since trying to be as near to normal as possible is the best therapy you can have.You will find adjustments and compromises will need to be made as you deal with fatigue,but if you are mentally prepared for this at the outset,you will find a way through.Try not to set yourself over ambitious targets,and nothing set in stone,but do try to keep going and push through,find that sweet spot between push and rest that works for you.

                                                                                                                   Todays unknowns will take care of themselves as they become tomorrows facts,at which point you can deal with them with a clear uncluttered mind. Maintain this attitude and you will deal with everything that gets thrown at you easier,,not easy,but surprisingly easier and discover inner strengths that have yet to see the light of day.Yes you will receive help and support from those around you,but ultimately it is about getting your body and mind in harmony.

                                              Given past events in your life l think there is no question you are a determined fighter,so its only now about fine tuning your response to achieve your best outcome,

                                                                                                           l hope it goes as well as is possible for you,safe journey,

                                  David

     

     

              

             

     

  • Offline in reply to gruntifen

    Thanks David. Will take each day as it comes. I'm determined to try and keep as normal a life as possible. 


     

     

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