Hi Fugabug,

Welcome to our forum.

I am so sorry to hear about the breakdown of your family relationships. If the cancer is into your mum's bones, it is already fairly advanced, so you need to decide what you want to do pretty soon.

This has to be totally your decision and, you need to decide how you will feel if you abandon her now. I am a great believer in living my life by treating others as I would like to be treated myself and, have been in a similar situation to this on two occasions. The first time, I let it pass without doing anything. Basically this was because I didn't decide what to do in time. It was too late for regrets when the end was already there.

The second time, I decided that life was too short to hold any resentment and, made that visit to the hospital before it was too late. We managed to put the past behind us and, I visited every day for three weeks before this person passed away. I expect that different people would feel different about these situations. All I can do is to give you my take on things.

I regret what happened the first time, as this was due to me dragging my heels. The second time, I was determined not to leave it too late and, I think that this helped both of us. The person I visited passed peacefully with all animosity laid to rest. I felt that my conscience was salved and, I had lived by my own principles.

It is natural to feel numb and angry when you hear that your mum has had a diagnosis like this. Many of us feel like this.  This is  your call. I cannot guarantee that you will mend your relationship. There is always the possibility that your mother may refuse to build any bridges, but If you do decide to try, I sincerely hope that it turns out well for you.

Do please keep in touch and let us know what you decide to do. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx