Jolamine 

Good morning.

What a beautiful message to wake up too. I'm currently chasing a 1 year old around the front room whilst my 4 year old is still soundo . I've taken this opportunity to busy myself with selling eBay. It's crazy how much better I cope with things by just being busy.  My boys, plus the other half complete my world and you just don't realise just how important they are until faced with something so daunting. I am very lucky to have these little people in my life being a mother is the most honourable and selfless thing I've ever accomplished. I lost my dad to cancer when I was 15 he was only 45 and in my head I'm only 7 years off his age. It's always been at the forefront of my mind but more so when you have kids because you no longer worry about you it's just what about the kids. I know we all have fears of death and it's the first thought we think of when you hear lump. We never think it could be anything other than cancer. I'm still breastfeeding and just hoping it's a blocked duct, until then I will keep myself nice and busy with my babies. I spoke with one of my girlfriends yesterday(not so much about me and this lump) we just chatted  and it's amazing how much better I feel. I'm not one for wanting to burden people with feelings and thoughts but I have found not keeping it in is a huge help. Just making people aware that if you do have a little wobble or teary moment that you are actually fine your having just that... a moment. Reflection and daydreaming and too much spare time allows those little thoughts to escalate in our head so I'll be baking... cooking and crafting.ill drive my husband potty . 
Thank you for this forum it's a wonderful way to express our worries without feeling silly and a beautiful way to support others feeling the same way 

good morning to you all 

Hiya,

I'm 49 and had a routine mammogram a couple of weeks ago. Last week I was invited to attend for a repeat mammogram, which led to an ultrasound and a biopsy consisting of 3 needles in all.

I've spent a week besides myself with worry but have found comfort reading chats such as this and knowing that there are others in the same boat as me. 

I received my results today and was fully expecting to hear that I have cancer. Instead I have been told I a benign fibroadenoma. This is good news but this experienced has changed my life. There are so many women who are alone and scared if not for themselves, for their children. Rather than walking away, i now really want to help others in anyway that I can so I am looking for where/how I might do this.

Wishing you all the best xxx

Hi Kittyjay

what fantastic news. I'm so pleased for you. I don't know why we we fear in the worst first,maybe it's just the way we cope with having bad news or the way we accept having brilliant news. Either way I'm really pleased that you reached out to us all and told us such positive news. It's actually put my mind at ease that you can go through something traumatic like this and actually have something great from it. It's the waiting that must feel like a lifetime. It's strange because as scared as I am of receiving bad news I worry tremendously for my boys. My husband as always has been my rock. We are so opposite from each other we wonder how we are so matched well they say they attract.... opposites. He is a real worry wart and it makes me love him more. I've had a great day today surrounding myself with the children, seeing my brother and amercing in my 4 year olds world book day. He was where's wally.... he looked more like a french man . Sending love and positive vibes to all xx

Hi Kittyjay,

I am so pleased for you that your results came back all clear, I hope you have celebrated with a glass of fizz, I know I will be if I get good news!

I feel exactly the same after having this scare whatever the outcome I want to be there for someone who going through the same thing.

Sending you lots of love xx

Haha, I'm sure your 4 year old was impressed either way.

Yes surround yourself with the people you love. This experience has not been a wasted one and has re-emphasised to me just how easily life can change. I've also learned the power of talking and sharing, I'm not really that way inclined but have found these forums invaluable. But in the few days that I spent surfing, I found that less people came back to share their results. I do understand why this might be but I wanted others to know and see that there are a range of possible reasons why your Dr or radiographer may be concerned. It's not always what we think and sometimes these tests are given to rule something out rather than to confirm it.

Good luck with everything

Lots of love, hugs and kisses xxx

Hiya,

Thank you!

I confided in my boss about what was going on and asked she suggested I work from home this week. I think this was the right thing for me as I'd been so emotional and I was fearful that I'd breakdown if someone said the wrong (or the right) thing. The last thing I wanted to do was draw unwanted attention to myself when I really wanted to be invisible but I just didn't feel strong enough to put a brave face on it  so I stayed away. If I'd not been able to work from home I think I would have had to go off sick as I was suffering with terrible anxiety. At the same time, I believe any distraction does you the world of good as you actually forget when you're busy.

I hope you have a good day but if it gets too much, do what you need to do. 

Wishing you well and hoping for a successful outcome.

Love and Best wishes xxx

Marisa 

hoping for positive results for you darling (positive in a good way). It must be so scarey. It's ok to be scared it must be you have. A cat named spook. 
please keep us posted we're all here for support and words of comfort xxx

Hi Ladysurf,

I'm glad to hear that you are managing to keep yourself busy, as this makes things so much easier to deal with. I am so sorry to hear that you lost your dad at such a young age. I can fully understand your fear as a result of this. I lost my mum to secondary breast cancer 10 years before I was diagnosed. The care that she received then now seems so archaic. There is just no comparison between the care that we have both experienced.

Your first thoughts do tend to rest with your children and husband. Cancer certainly impinges on the entire family, but many breast cancers are now quite treatable and, they certainly don't always end in death as they once used to.

The fact that you are still breastfeeding means that there are a number of less serious conditions that could be attributed to your symptoms, so I sincerely hope that it is something as simple as a blocked duct. I didn't divulge anything about my diagnosis to friends at first, but found that I coped with it much better once I opened up about it. I found that it was easier for  people to cope with my diagnosis when I was positive about it. Burdening people with negative thoughts doesn't achieve anything.

You are fortunate in that your children are too young to need an explanation, but do try and keep communication channels open with your husband.

Don't forget to keep us posted.

I am keeping my fingers crossed for good news.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Ladysurf and others on this thread (do replies go to all or just to the person you reply to?)

Finally got results today. I have atypical ductal hyperplasia which I understand is pre-cancerous cell changes. I now need a vacuum biopsy to check the whole area for DCIS. I am very relieved that it isn't invasive, so at worst I will need wide local excision, at best yearly monitoring. So good news on the whole!

My gosh I feel exhausted with all the waiting and anticipation though! Thanks for being here, ladies xxx