I had been having some bleading for quite a while, often with a change in bowl habbits and erm shall we say wetness. I eventually made an apointment with the doctors and was expecting to be told i have hemeroids etc. Anyways i ended up with a Colonoscopy which while unpleasent was not the pain inducing disaster often described.......however this found a large growth which biopsy samples were taken from. There and then the surgen doing the work told me he was sure it was cancer and even told me the likely treatments and likelyhood of a colostomy. Within a week i have had Key worker nurses call me and a MRI and CT scan completed.........No one will tell me for sure what my Biopsy says but that i will get a call later this week when the team have met and reviewed all the data............the wait is agonising especially so as being a bloke i just want to fix it now!

I want to believe it will all be a dud and nothing to worry about, i even feel a fraud telling people that my Colonoscopy results clearly state Rectal cancer .......with pictures, not suspect or possible but all matter of fact. 

Key worker nurse also told me that while i was right to be open minded, this is ther day job they see 1000's of cases and are good at what they do with only 1 in 6+ years experience being called wrong at the Colonoscopy.......stats are not in my favour.

I guess i am writting as a form of rehursal, and truely i am in denial, but sharing is often the first step.