Hi

Sorry to hear your husbands news.

Firstly... I couldn't agree more, if your body is trying to tell you something, listen to it and get investigated. If GP's aren't listening, go to another, then another and insist on a referral.

I have had bowel cancer twice in the past. First time was treated for IBS for 18 months before diagnosis and the second time I was pestering for 6 months before it was found.

I am sure if it wasn't for my pestering, I wouldn't be here now. As far as I know cancer free.

I had chemo after second time. They like you to get over the surgery a little before chemo. With me they waited until lymph nodes results came back from lab.

I would say my chemo started about 6 to 8 weeks after surgery.

Hope your husband has a speedy recovery.

Thanks for your response.  So glad you persisted and kept pestering.  Interesting that you were treated for IBS first and for so long.  did you find anything in particular flared it?  My hubby had issues with bread, his stomach would bloat up. 

Anything that is different in bowel habits and symptoms/issues when eating certain foods is key I think.  Maybe keep a food diary.  I am a Personal Trainer and have been learning a lot about gut health (before this happened ironically). 

Ok, thank you.  He is doing so well and being positive.  Mindset is definately key, for me too.  They said it hadn't spread to lymph nodes, they were clear.  So it is just a matter of waiting.  He had letter for meeting with surgeon in June so I presume that is a follow up appointment for the surgery.  Apparantely he has another appointment with stoma nurse in March (which he wasn't told about).  Hopefully we will hear soon.

Hope you are feeling well and doing ok.

Only symptoms first time was indigestion and a pain that kept coming and going in middle of upper abdomen.

Second time, anaemia, abdominal pain, blood in poo, bloated.

Not sure why they have said your husband needs chemo, I had to have it 'just in case' as of all the lymph nodes removed, just one was positive so I was offered it and felt it would be silly not to.

Since I have met quite a few bowel cancer patients and most of them were treated for IBS first, so much time wasting instead of checking and ruling out the worst first.

I am feeling ok thank you, just suffer from anxiety now when I have a new ache or pain, my mind sets off on the worst case scenario, it's awful but most cancer patients feel this way after diagnosis.

Thanks for your response. 

I think some of the lymph nodes had it.  Don't fully understand but they mentioned lymph nodes and they removed them in the operation.  They removed quite a lot of the bowel.

My impression is that he is having chemo as a precautionary.

I have just spoken to him as he has been ringing around trying to find out what is happening.  Problem is, because he is in the military, the letter went to the medical centre (so that delays things). 

They want him back for another PET scan as they have a concern about his liver.  He said to me that it is nothing serious but just wants to check.  Maybe he is saying that not to worry me.  but again, it is a worry.  You are right, all of this makes you very anxious.  Do you get any support?  people to talk to?  Did you see my post about meditation?  What helps your anxiety?  Have you tried anything to help?

I feel like I am in a nightmare and will hopefully wake up, life can be cruel.  I know worrying doesn't change the outcome of anything. 

I only have bowel at one side now, first op took all one side and second all across horizontal. I must have had plenty as I'm told I have about a foot of bowel left.

They do check that your liver and lungs are ok with this cancer. I once had a massive scare, on a routine scan something showed up on the scan on my liver. I thought that's it, it can only be one thing, it was a nigtmare, waiting for the scan and waiting for the results, I was a total mess when I went for the results. Soon felt better as I was told it was a harmless liver cyst.

Drives me mad all the massive worries that turn out to be nothing thankfully.

I get lots of support, I have an amazing family who think I am very brave but I don't think I am.

I get support from people who have been through various cancers at a couple of groups I go to.

Also support at our complementary therapies venue.

It makes you see life very differently doesn't it.

oh wow, its amazing how much bowel we have.  what a worry for you.  yes i am hoping it is something harmless.  Its the waiting that is frustrating and worrying, it does make you anxious.  I think my hubby will be sick of me asking if he is ok lol. 

I can describe my nerves as an elastic band being stretched and about to snap or ping.

So pleased that you are getting support, you are brave.  Carrying on and going through the worry.  And you are inspiring others.  Thank you for your responses, gives me some comfort.

Cancer groups and complementary therapies sound good.  Yes it certainly does.

Hope you have a good weekend, have you got any plans?  I have my family visiting for the weekend.  So i have been cleaning this morning before I went to work.  We have had loads of visitors the last couple of months which has been nice.

Hi there, 

So sorry to hear about your awful ordeal. My father has Stage 4 bowel cancer and is sadly terminal due to widespread metastastes. He had an operation early January and has only started chemotherapy 22nd February because the doctors like to give you some time to recover after the operation as your body needs to heal before inflicting chemotherapy. I know how frustrating it is, you almost feel like you've been forgotten about by the hospital but I assure you you haven't.  The treatment start date will come and I wish you and your hubby all the best with his treatment and hope you are coping well! 

Thank you.

So sorry to hear about your father.  If you don't mind, what were the symptoms for your father, how old is he?  How is his chemotherapy going? 

Yes I know it will take time for the body to recover after an operation.  I keep reminding my hubby that he has had a major operation.  He is in the Army so is used to being active, mentally and maybe not so much physically but I think he finds it frustrating getting tired.  I said that he needs to listen to his body and rest when he needs to. 

I am trying to stay strong but I am absolutely petrified.  Trying to help him and not be an emotional wreck.

Thank you for your reply. My father is only 61, which I thought was so young to be diagnosed with bowel cancer but to hear your husband is 52 is even more shocking and I'm so very sorry. 
My father has always had a bit of a nervous tummy, but for about a year he was running back and forth the toilet unable to hold his stools. Myself and my mother would go on and on at him to go to the doctors but as I was pregnant at the time we had so much to worry about and my dad would keep refusing to go the doctors. Further down the line he started having blood in his stools and the most worrying symptom for indicating bowel cancer was pencil-like stools. He finally went to the doctors after about a year to a year and half of these symptoms and devastatingly we were told that he was already at Stage 3. They gave him chemotherapy tablets and radiotherapy for 5 weeks in the hope that the Tumor would shrink before surgery. He had no sickness but he was very tired and spent a lot of time in bed. They then scanned him and found the Tumor had shrunk and they were happy to operate. However, 7th January 2020 when they opened my dad up to remove the Tumor they found widespread metastatses in his abdominal cavity and small bowel. This was absolutely devastating. We went from the night before surgery joking saying 'tommy the Tumor will be gone this time tomorrow dad' (as a family we tend to joke to cope with these things) to the night of surgery being called by his surgeon to be told that they couldn't remove the Tumor. He is now receiving palliative chemotherapy. However, although my dad is terminal, bowel cancer is a very treatable disease if found early and is such a brilliant sign that your hubby has had his Tumor and affected lymph nodes removed as this was the operation my father was supposed to have. Chemotherapy is a precaution after the surgery to ensure the Tumor is gone and doesn't come back. I hope you find comfort that your hubby has caught it early enough to have surgery. It is the most terrifying experience and yes you're definitely right, let him listen to his body. My father is similar he likes to be fit and active and being in bed really isn't for him! But these things need to be taken one day at a time, with a positive mindset (I know this is hard to be positive). I hope you take care of yourself as although cancer is gruelling for the patient, the carer also needs support and comfort. I wish you and your hubby all the best X

Hello,

         Tell hubby to use all the time he has to let his body recovery after the shock of surgery since the chemo will come as a hammer blow to his system.Most people tend to regard the surgery as the main event with the follow up chemo as a stroll in the park, oh dear me no.Although they are improving this all the time  it is still nothing less than brutal but necessary.

                                                                           Stressing himself currently is not helping his cause in the future,staying calm and keeping on a even keel will go a long way to helping his journey go a whole lot easier .If he is ex military he will be understand stress is the enemy,calmness is his friend.

                                                                          In my case chemo was a success but left me with a lifetime bill to pay for its services in the form of neuropathy of the feet, which in hindsight is a fair price to pay six years on, since it had spread from bowel to liver. It does not stop me from carrying on much as normal since l determined this was my price for accommodating it.

                                                       Attitude of mind, time to fight,  time to chill, l hope he relaxes now,plenty of time left to fight in the future,

                                                   Good luck,

                                                                       David