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Mum has been diagnosed with treatable but not curable cancer

catlady91
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Yesterday my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer. The consultant seemed really positive and said that if she had come to him 10-15 years earlier the prognosis would have been bleak. He said that the cancer can be treated but not cured.

This is such a stressful and horrible time as there's still more tests to do. The consultant doesn't think that it's spread and it's advanced localised. He predicted that she'll probably need six months of aggressive treatment.

I'm only 28 and terrified of losing my mum. I'm trying to stay strong. The consultant was surprised that she's in such good shape and her lung reading was very good. My mum is a very strong and sturdy lady. She feels well and has a good appetite. She's 70 but looks a lot younger and keeps herself well. 

I don't know what treatable but not curable means. I read on the McMillan website that it means that you can live with cancer for several years. How long can several years be? What does incurable mean? Would it mean that my mum would have to keep on having tests? The consultant seemed really positive and said that survival has greatly improved. 

I can't lose my mum; she's my everything. I know that we all have to die but she's my everything and I don't feel that it's her time. She says that she doesn't feel unwell and that I look more like a cancer patient than she does.

  • Offline in reply to Disneylover87

    Hi again . 
    Alastair went for radiotherapy -sent home as machine has broken! Went back at 4.00 and had treatment . A bit tired  but thankful it's started tho. Strange times we are living in its awful having cancer at this time ( not that there's ever a good time!) all good wishes to you and your Mum , it's perfectly possible to live with incurable cancer and hopefully you will have a lovely time ahead time ahead to enjoy your baby together . Take care look after yourself x

     

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    Hi catlady91,

    My Dad was diagnosed with incurable and inoperable, very agressive lung cancer 2 years ago and he is still out in the garden most days (even on rest days!) fixing up whatever DIY project he is currently working on. It's good that the consultant seemed really positive about it, they know what they're doing.

    It's very overwhelming at first and this is what I found made me not be able to think clearly for about two or three weeks but this does get better and soon you'll adapt to another way of living. I'm 22 so I know what you mean, when a parent gets diagnosed, it doesn't seem right. They seem so young still and you still believe they're going to be around until you're old and grey as well. Dad has been having Chemo every 3 weeks for two years and has just finished 10 days of radiotherapy. Survival rates have definitely greatly improved on what they were and I guess we should be thankful for that at least.

    You're not alone on here. Hope you're finding time to yourself to process this all, even if it's just sitting and listening to a few tracks of music. Thoughts are with you. Be Brave. 

  • Offline in reply to banjoandayellowsuitcase

    Thanks so much for your reply. This was just the lung specialist that we spoke to. After my mum had all her tests, biopsies and scans we saw the oncologist planning my mum's treatment and she said that they're aiming to cure my mum's cancer and she's seen many cases where people with stage three lung cancer (what my mum has) being completely cured. She was really positive. When my mum asked her if lung cancer is one of the hardest to treat she said that it isn't. She made it seem like treating it is a piece of cake. My mum is also eligible for immunotherapy which she'll start after radiation and chemo. Also my mum's cancer isn't aggressive and is slower growing.

    There is a lot of positives but I get days when I feel anxious and scared and worry what if the treatment doesn't work, what if the cancer comes back, what if it spreads? There are a lot of stories like this on here. 

    I'm really glad to hear about your dad and I hope that he keeps on getting better and you have him around for many more years. What type of lung cancer does he have? My mum has stage three, non-small cell, squamous cell carcinoma lung cancer. 

    I'm hearing of more and more people with lung cancer who are living a lot longer, even with stage four. It seems like there's been a lot of advances in treatment for lung cancer which is great. The lung consultant said that 10-15 years ago my mum's cancer would have been bad news. I just hope that they'll be more progress made in treating pancreatic cancer which is one of if not the hardest cancer to treat because it's so aggressive and is often far too advanced for treatment when it's caught. My mum's friend's cousin died from pancreatic cancer the other day. She was only 45 with two young kids. Died a few weeks after diagnosis, same with my friend's dad.

    Best wishes to you and your dad x

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