My sister married her partner of 10yrs in June last year and four days later he was diagnosed with stomach cancer. He was a healthy 41 year old and so, despite being told by his doctors in Sweden (that's where they live) that all they could now offer was palliative care, they took a gamble and went to receive private treatment in Brazil which we were told could be curative. Nevertheless, now back in Sweden, he was diagnosed in December with secondary peritoneal cancer. This time he is too tired and sick to undergo any experimental treatment and he and my sister have accepted the palliative home care offered. At the time of writing however we have not been given a prognosis as the doctors have yet to assess how he is reacting to the chemo.

I am panicking at the fact that I simply don't know how to help and make things better. I live, work and am full time carer to my disabled mother in London and am unable to spend a lot of time in Sweden, only getting there for a few days every few weeks. But my sister is not coping very well and struggling to get practical things done like keeping the house clean (she's never been good at it!) and feeding herself. They have no family in Sweden at all and I wish I could be there to make sure things gets done, let him know there are many of us that will do everything for him and to relieve my sister from having to do anything but be by his side. From afar I can only ask how they are and offer a few words of comfort but I don't feel like I'm even getting that right. Not to mention the fact that I live in fear that he will deteriorate suddenly and leave us without my being there with them. 

If anybody has any advice for me on the things I could do from afar I'd be eternally grateful.