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Just found out I have DCIS

Broomla
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Hi, never posted to sites before but have been trawling through posts since 13th Dec and have finally plucked up the courage. Such a positive and informative place to come to help the nerves.  I am waiting surgery details and know I will have BCT and radiotherapy, I haven’t told my girls yet and can’t figure out the best time to do it. One lives away and the other is final A level year and 18 in 2 weeks. We are going to London for her birthday and wondered if I should tell them when I have them both together. I did ask if I could hide it from them but the look on the surgeons face said it all. Just wondering how others have done it 

 

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    Hi Broomla,

    Welcome to our forum. I'm sure that you'll soon be glad that you have joined us. We're a good band of folk and we are all here to help and support one another.

    It is always dificult to tell family this sort of news. We faced a similar situation with my hubby a few years ago. It was his 70th birthday and we met up with our son and daughter at Centre Parks for a few days. He blurted out his news at one point and, completely changed the festive feeling of our stay. Don't spoil the birthday celebrations this way.  You could tell your daughters once you know what is happening with your surgery, or tell them both now and let them support you as you travel your cancer journey. 

    Do you know what grade and type your cancer is? If you can sound positive about your situation when you're telling them, they will take it better. This is an unfortunate time to have to tell your younger daughter when she is facing her exams, but it has to be done. Do you chat with your older daughter on the phone regularly? I had to tell my son this way, as we live at opposite ends of the country. I dreaded doing it this way, but it turned out well in the end. It might also be worth telling the school about your situation, so that the teachers can keep an eye on your daughter.

    I agree totally with your surgeon. Cancer doesn't just affect you. It affects the entire family and, they will all want to be there to support you as much as they can.

    I hope that you find the strength to do this at the right time for all of you and, that you all enjoy your trip to London and make some fantastic memories of the trip.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Hi Jolamine

    thank you for your advise, it’s been tough trying to mae this decision and I have now been told I have her2 positive cancer so  need chemo. I am going to see my olderst daughter today as she lives away and I can’t tell her over the phone. I will wait until after my youngest birthday to tell her though.  I hadn’t thought about letting her school know. I hope all went well for your husband 

     

  • Offline in reply to Broomla

     

    Hi Broomla,

    I'm glad to hear that you are going to see your oldest daughter today and, I hope that all goes well. Just a thought, but is your oldest daughter likely to discuss your news with her sister, maybe over the phone, before you tell your youngest the news? You might be as well telling her now too. This would mean that they can discuss everything together and support one another through this.

    It is always helpful if the school is aware and, they can keep an eye out for any changes in your daughter.

    I am thinking of you and, hope that it all goes as well as possible this weekend.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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