So really you know what you have to do, stop googling!!  I've just been talking to a friend today, same age as me, 71 years but young at heart, don't forget we're the children of the sixties, an exciting challenging time for us, no social media, no Internet, no googling, we lived our lives, ignored aches and pains, we knew most would go away on their own, and they did, we never discussed cancer as it wasn't in our vocabulary, but we lost grandparents and parents to cancer, my grandad lost his battle with lung cancer whilst I was pregnant with my first baby but never once did it occur to me that I might get it.  So my point is, live each day without worry and stress, it gets you precisely no where, even now as I look after my lovely husband who has lung cancer, not once have I googled his symptons, there is an old saying, never listen behind closed doors as you may hear something you don't wish to hear, to me googling is the same.  So enjoy each day, love your children and be happy for them, they don't need a worried Mummy.  So big hugs your way and look after you.  Carol 

Thank you and I know you're right.  I'm 43 and think in some respects technology is good but at the same time it can be extremely negative and have adverse impacts.  

I also lost another 2 grandparents to it and it scares me.  After 8 years of despising my job and coming home in tears everyday (being scrutinised and hurt) I finally have the job of my dreams and a happy home life.  You're so right, I need to focus on that.

Big hug back to you too xx

Sometimes you just need to put a new spin on it, when we're feeling down and scrutinised our minds go into overdrive and we think the worst of ourselves.  I understand where you are coming from, without my knowledge when I worked for the Courts a man I worked with had kept a diary for a year on my every move, then accused me of bullying him, after months of internal investigation, I was exonerated and it was decided he was jealous of my popularity, so it's the other person at fault, not you, have trust in yourself.  Good luck in your new career.  Carol x 

Sometimes you just need to put a new spin on it, when we're feeling down and scrutinised our minds go into overdrive and we think the worst of ourselves.  I understand where you are coming from, without my knowledge when I worked for the Courts a man I worked with had kept a diary for a year on my every move, then accused me of bullying him, after months of internal investigation, I was exonerated and it was decided he was jealous of my popularity, so it's the other person at fault, not you, have trust in yourself.  Good luck in your new career.  Carol x