Hi I'm Linda my partner just been to hospital today possible cancer and I don't no how to deal with this he's just come home and ha 3 stiff drinks and just won't talk to me
Give him time. If the news is bad he will be very shocked. Even if he needs more tests he may still be shaken by phrases such as 'possible cancer' He will talk to you, and hopefully this willl be very soon. He may also behave strangely for a time, and possibly not pleasantly. Just try not to judge him too harshly if this is the case. He has a lot to digest.
I visited GP today and have been refered for a scan.i have a wonderful wife whose very loving and supportive but I just found myself wanting to be alone but wanting to talk at the same time but not to her. Nothing to do with anything other than not wanting to hurt her. Ironically it probably hurts more behaving differently or colder when I'm sure she wants a cuddle. I think men are strange things aren't we. Give him time don't take things personally expect bouts of sadness maybe anger. It's a processing thing- men will look at worst scenarios ( we are drama queens really!!) but deep down I guess I'm afraid. I want to be there caring for my parents looking after my boy living my dreams and retiring with my wife. The thought of that being taken away is frightening. Even now one day in I'm thinking so negitivly and I'm very sad just a little under the surface. I know that when I do snap out of it she will he there and I just hope she doesn't get too upset waiting for me to come out of my dark fearful shell x
I am so sorry you are going through this and I hope the scan will show nothing serious. Please dont be hard on yourself : it is a very scary time and everyone reacts and copes in their own way and that is ok.
Sometimes talking about things makes them more real, when we just want to hide our heads and pretend it's not happening.
My best advice is to send your wife a link to your post. Then she will understand how you feel and be able to support you better. Remember it is a scary time for her too. And when you can talk about it, do; it really can help you to process what is happening and feel supported.
I am 2 weeks post b.c. op and have just had an all clear. I wish you well and hope your brush with cancer is as short and positive as possible.
Well we had night of just laying in bed together but so far apart I just want to hold him and tell him it will b I can't as I am in the medical profession myself know its a very strong possibility that it won't he has asked me about treatment and side afeccts I'm frightened he may not go for any if I tell him th truth
