Hi, 

I'm sorry to hear about your condition, and how you're coping with it. I have recently been diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma, and whilst it is a different type of cancer, I can understand how scared you are. It's good that you have joined this forum, as it might help in finding someone to talk to, in my case I am lucky that my girlfriend's family is quite large and close so there are many people I have to help me, my side of the family however is quite small in comparison, and are scattered so not as able to make visits etc. Had I not had my family from her side, I would have near to noone to talk to so I kinda get how you feel. However, I believe this forum can help, as for being signed off work, almost everyone I have talked to about my condition has said that I will hardly be in work for the next 6 months as I will be too unwell from the chemo, which I am dreading for my financial situation, so again, I understand where you are coming from.

  I hope that things start to get better for you, and you recover soon, and if you want a ear to bend so to speak, I'm always willing to listen. X

That is a really kind message thank you TMT.  Glad to hear your girlfriend's family is supportive.

I do have a fairly large family (3 siblings) but my brother lives abroad in Norway, my two sisters live (not that far admittedly) in London but my mother has advanced dementia and lives in a care home whilst my father although physically ok is too frail really to help with my kids.

I am just hoping I can have as positive a mental attitude to all this as I possibly can, being divorced and having almost sole responsibility for my kids means I really feel the need to try to "fight" this (if that is possible!) for their sake.  My ex husband has re married aand lives some distance away and has some but not much contact with our two kiddies.

Anyway thank you for replying I really do appreciate it! Been trying to distract myself with watching back on bbc iplayer and itv player today and keep out of the cold weather outside!

Bubbles11 x

You're more welcome  :)

Whilst I have no idea of how breast cancer, I can understand how scared you may be as cancer is cancer, there is no "good cancer". I've never really been a "friend maker", for some reason I find that true friends are hard to find, and I don't seem to make many good friends, so it isn't easy to talk to people about what's going on, but if you have friends, I'm sure they will listen and be supportive. If not, keep coming back here  :)

It sounds like it's tough for you at the moment, but you have a good attitude, in fighting against it, which is something we all need to in these circumstances. After I was told I had the Hodgkins, my first question after I shed a few tears was "so where do we go from here?" and that was me trying to be strong. Didn't last long that day, as when I went to have bloods done after the meeting, I didn't even get halfway down the corridoor before I broke down. But the shock of it is over now, and I'm just dealing with everything that's going on as it comes, and as you said trying to distract yourself from it all, I'm still at work until my chemo starts, trying to carry on as normal for the sake of my 2, 2 and a half yr old nephews who i see regularly. I'm dreading telling the other 2, I have a young neice and half nephew on her side, aged 7 and 11 (I think) and telling them will be emotional.

Keep your chin up, stay healthy, and stay positive, there's plenty of fight left in you, I know it!

:)  X 

Hi there , and welcome ..

It's a really tough journey with family that can help .. so my heart goes out to you ... maybe McMillan may be able to offer practical help while having treatment .. you could also ask for their financial advisers.. they are free and can help you know what benifits you can get and can even help filling them in .. nothing to loose trying .. if you go on their home page, there's info there and phone numbers ..

I had a grade three and a masectomy in July 2017 ...  and there were lots of us started on here when I was new .. and wer all still standing .. and most have gone back to their life post cancer... and one had a baby boy a couple of weeks ago ..  so hold on in there ..

We all get down days .. but it's letting yourself go through those feelings and know it's o.k .. to feel scared or angry .. but then getting back up .. and looking it in the eye ... coz the meaning of brave is being scared witless but still doing what you have to any way... that's brave .. 

So don't feel lonely ..  there's a few of us here .. you can chat or vent .. or ask anything .. your not alone ..

Sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie xx

Thanks Chrissie

That is such a nice message. And very encouraging.  I am still sort of in denial I guess in some ways.  And then I think illogically and childishly along the lines of "this cannot possibly happen to me, Ive just got through a divorce (i didnt want) bought a family home just 6 months ago for my two kiddies and me, and now this.  I cannot afford for anything to happen to me for the sake of my children.  I totally know i am no different from everyone else but those illogical thoughts go through my head.

My ex husband (remarried 4 month old baby) keeps sending me agressive emails along the lines of "you may not die" (sub text I cannot have the kids back) and you may not re locate anywhere cheaper should the worst happen.  And it has only been 1 round of chemo so far!!

Anyway enough moaning, Ive set myself a few simple goals for today once the anti sickness meds kick in so if i can focus on that then that should distract my thinking abit.  Thank you for your positive messages all.  Bubbles x